Bragging 101: Personal Branding One Story At A Time

What holds you back from strong personal branding?

The vast majority of professionals, business owners and executives have trouble branding themselves because they suffer from FOB syndrome: Fear of Bragging.

Professionals and business owners need marketing materials that will demonstrate value to their clients.

Corporate executives also get stuck because they can’t sell themselves as they write resumes, performance reviews and reports.

Time to get out of your own way! If you can’t talk about how good you are, you will always stay where you are.

Can you relate to these questions?

“I simply cannot write about myself in large terms.”

“I can’t brag about myself.”

“Everybody else is better than me.”

“I don’t want to be obnoxious.”

“The nail that stands out gets hammered down.”

“Humility is a virtue.”

“Just do your work and you’ll get noticed.”

What’s yours?

________________________________________________

What Bragging101 Can Do For You

When you brag about yourself the right way, you will:

Communicate your authentic message in a way that attracts sales (without sounding hype-y or obnoxious)

Get better results for every dollar you spend on marketing yourself

Spend less time promoting yourself but enjoy even greater results

Attract clients, offers and rewards more consistently

Transform prospects to customers easily (even if it was always hard for you before)

Stand out in a crowded environment

Sell your ideas and proposals

Present yourself as a winner to bosses, colleagues and customers

“Often a query, never a sale”

Imagine someone asks you a question, visits your site, reads your resume, or picks up a brochure. Each event represents an opportunity to introduce yourself to your target market.

Will you seize the opportunity with a strong (but totally professional) message? Or will you think, “I don’t want to brag.”

When you think “brag” is a 4-letter word, you lose lucrative opportunities. You don’t turn queries into sales. You get frustrated with weak results.

And (believe it or not) you make your prospects uncomfortable. They want you to brag, the right way.

Many people think “brag” is a 4-letter word. They think they’ll be forced to be obnoxious and pushy to promote themselves.

I encourage you to think of bragging in a positive way – not only bragging but reaching out and connecting to your clients. The truth is … your clients expect you to brag. They want you to tell them how great you are.
The truth is, confident people want to associate with other confident people. Propping up someone’s self-assurance takes a lot of energy!

You may have heard the saying, “The nail that stands out gets pounded down.” In business and career settings, the nail that doesn’t stand out will disappear into the woodwork.

A lot of us were taught, “Just do your work and you’ll get noticed.” The truth is, you want to do your work and you want to do it but you want to let people know what you’re doing in a context that makes sense to them.

What motivated me to write about this topic

Once I took a zumba class where Bill was subbing for Maria, a very popular instructor. More than once during the class he would say, “I’m sure you’ll be glad next week when Maria is back,” or, “I know you miss Maria today.”

Most of us got very frustrated. It was like, “I don’t want to hear this.” In fact, many of us liked Bill better than we liked Maria.

And you’ve probably attended meetings where C-level executives would say, “I’m sure you’d rather be somewhere else instead of sitting here listening to me.”
Why not say instead, “It’s a beautiful day and I’m thrilled to be sharing it with you and I have wonderful things to contribute – things I know will make a difference – things I know will impact your business.”

Or have you ever been to a meeting where successful business owners raise their hands and say, “This is probably a stupid question but …”

I’ve seen this happen even at conferences with successful business owners. And I cringe every time.
First of all, your question probably isn’t stupid. Second, you’re taking up air time by apologizing for yourself. Get right to the point and ask your question.

We’ll talk later about owning your bragging rights and when you should apologize. Mostly you shouldn’t.

Your clients want you to brag!

When potential clients meet you and don’t buy, there may be nothing wrong with your product or service. The reason may be related to you.

In fact, people often think there’s something wrong with you if you’re not promoting yourself. I learned this the hard way.

If you’ve been on my website you probably know I spent many years teaching in business schools. Professors (even in business schools) say things like, “This might make a small incremental effect on the dynamics of the intra-organizational interactions…”

So when I got on the web I was nervous about selling. I created a timid little website. I wrote some timid little copy for my ebooks. I did get some interest and some clients but not a lot happened.

Then I studied copywriting. I was really nervous when I shared my first sales letter. I expected my prospects to turn away in horror.

Instead, people started saying, “This is great! Now we really believe you’re doing well.” They wanted to see that I was doing some promotion because that made my business seem real.

The truth is …

Clients like to brag about their professionals.

“My dentist went to Harvard.”
“My trainer is a bodybuilder who just won a big contest.”
“My coach wrote a book.”

Clients EXPECT you to brag.

If you don’t, it’s like waiting for the other shoe to drop.

This book will walk you through the 5 Bragging 101 steps and then share places you can brag.

The Bragging 101 Program: Overview

Step 1: Connect emotionally to your target – your audience – with 3 levels of pain. Your target can be your customer base or your future employer.

What is your target audience feeling? Most prospects are scared. They’re terrified of making the wrong decision.

By bragging, you address their fear. You reassure them on the 3 levels of pain.

Step 2: Focus on the YOU factor. How does your brilliance make them shine brighter?

Make them look good.

Frame your brags in terms of your target market.

Step 3: Use stories to show what you do so you don’t have to tell them.
“Show don’t tell” is one of the maxims of professional writers and it can be yours too. Try reading a novel and notice how the author present scenes and people.

The best way to do this is to tell stories about your own accomplishments. Whether you’re advancing your career or your business, you can use stories to communicate your value to a variety of

Step 4: Let others do the talking for you.

Provide testimonials and list awards.

Step 5: Claim your bragging rights.

Stop apologizing! Accept compliments and start connecting.

Step 1: Connect emotionally to your target or audience.

Most people buy emotionally, even in B2B transactions. So the first question to ask is, what are the emotions they’re feeling?

Almost always the emotion people feel when they re in the market for something is fear. Fear motivates people to take action. So your mission is to reassure your prospects. But they can also experience anger, frustration, grief and more.

Let’s use our interior decorating example – a non-threatening service that doesn’t hit too many hot buttons. Most people don’t think of decorating as a medical problem. They don’t think of physical pain or seeing a therapist. They have fun with their decorator … but still are driven by 3 levels of pain.

For example:

Cynthia has just moved to a new city because her husband just received a promotion. Now she has to do more entertaining. Her husband’s colleagues – and even his boss – would be coming over to her house.

What was her pain?

When it comes to making a purchase, emotions play a critical role, even when we think we’re making decisions purely on logic and reason. We think we make decisions based purely on logic, but really, most of our purchases are based on emotions.

In his book Descartes’s Error, psychology professor Antonio Damasio describes cases where patients experienced damage to the pre-frontal cortex – the part of the brain associated with emotions. These patients retained their intelligence levels but had trouble making even the simplest decisions, such as what to eat for dinner. They could list the logical pros and cons of each option but couldn’t apply this rationale to a firm decision.

Therefore, when you’re marketing to clients, you need to go beyond a logical appeal. Otherwise you’ll get clients caught in an endless loop, making pro-and-con lists but never signing on the dotted line.

When getting people to buy your service, you’re not functioning as a data collector, citing evidence for why your prospects should vote “yes.” You’re creating a scenario where your service solves a problem – relieving pain – and brings about a positive result

Your client gets nervous about hiring you. That’s why you need to be extra confident.
Think about it – when you’re scared and nervous you don’t want anyone who’s equally scared and nervous because now you’ve got two people scaring each other in the room. It’s like introducing two cats: ears flattened, tails fluffed, and loud shrieks.

That’s not going to help! What’s needed is someone who is strong and confident and can take charge.

How To Identify Your Client’s Three Levels of Pain

Your client experiences three levels of pain. You can find them by seeking answers to these questions – and you may not be asking those questions directly.

Question #1: What hurts?

Often marketers and copywriters focus only on this question. You can relate most sources of pain to the basics: finances, health, love, social status and time.

Of course, you can dig deeper. What will happen if you don’t increase sales? What will you enjoy if you save time? Why is your service important? How will your clients’ lives be better?

For instance, I often talk with clients about setting up their first or next website. We talk about how to register domain names and get hosting. These topics seem trivial, boring and factual.
But I can illustrate with some painful stories.

One of my clients hired a web developer with a fancy website and a package of big promises. The developer assured her, “I will take care of everything. I will register your domain name, hire the host, and get your website up and running. The hosting fee includes a monthly charge for maintenance.”
Two years later, my client was a successful small business owner. She wanted to upgrade her website. It seemed to be a straightforward decision…until she realized she did not have usernames or passwords for her domain name and her web host. In fact, her domain name had disappeared because the web developer went out of business and forgot to renew it. She had to pay $200 to get it back, after I helped her negotiate; the original listing was close to $1000.

Of course, avoiding future pain tends to be less compelling than dealing with current pain. That’s why web development companies make money. People want a website and they want it fast – not realizing what’s happening down the road.

But these stories will get prospects involved and deal with emotion.

So now let’s imagine Cynthia. She’s thinking about hiring an interior decorator.

Copywriters often say, “People are motivated by money, love, status, and health.” Let’s break this down.

Money: Cynthia knows that her husband will be evaluated – consciously or unconsciously, formally or informally, fairly or unfairly – on the success of her dinners and social gatherings. His career with this company will depend on how his colleagues and bosses feel when they visit the Smith home.

At the same time, she wants to save money and time on the decoration project. She suspects a decorator will do a better job while giving her more free time. Time is another form of money.
Love: Cynthia values the relationships with her husband and family. When she supports her husband’s career, her marriage will be stronger. (They’re very traditional!)

Social: When guests come to your home, they make judgments about you – or at least you probably think they do. I once knew people who were living in a small apartment while their home was undergoing major renovation. They were embarrassed to invite new friends to their temporary home because it didn’t express who they were.

These core emotions address the fundamental why question: Why hire a decorator? In this case, we’re seen the reasons relate to all three core emotions.
But when hiring a service, prospects ask two additional “why” questions.

Question #2: Why now?

Sometimes it’s pretty obvious. People call a home stager when they need to sell their homes.

But sometimes people feel internal pressure. A life coach says, “They’ve been thinking about this for a long time. What makes the client pick up the phone?”

When you dig more deeply, you usually find that your client has experienced new external pressures.

She needs a new job because her new boss is driving her crazy.
He just got a wake-up call to start dieting when he ventured into a new social situation.
The company needs a new employee because somebody just quit or they need expertise in a particular area.

You can be extremely effective when you know what triggered the search for a new resource because you tailor your marketing to meet this need.

Sometimes people have been thinking about hiring a resource for a long time. They may decide to buy when they encounter exactly the right service. Or they get inspired when a friend makes the move; you’ve been meaning to join a gym and then your neighbor starts going, so you get motivated.

Can you move the needle on the “buy now” scale?

You have to decide what’s appropriate, ethical and effective in your own profession. Some marketers believe it is appropriate to create a sense of urgency. Some urgency will be generated by the marketer (“this opportunity will go away”) and some by belief in circumstances (“if you don’t get a flu shot now, you risk serious illness this winter”).

At the same time, some people will question the ethics of preying on fears, let alone creating fear. They will point to the lack of absolute certainty about the future. If you google “controversy over flu shots,” for instance, you will see that not everyone in the medical community has been sold on their value.

Creating urgency in the hiring process

When you’re applying for jobs, you may feel you have to deal with the employer’s terms, and often that’s the case. But many corporate executives find they can gain an advantage when they honestly have a timeline in place.

If you keep several balls in the air during a job hunt, you will often be in a position to say, “I have to give an answer to another company by next Thursday. I’d really like to pursue the opportunity with you. Can you tell me where you are in your process?”

Of course a company will often respond with, “We’re not even close. Good luck in your new venture.” That’s why bluffing can backfire. It’s a good reason to have many avenues of exploration during a job hunt and, if you’re a business owner, to avoid relying on one big client who could go away.

Given a choice, prospects often prefer to postpone the moment of buying. If they can wait, they probably will. So as a marketer, it’s important to address the “why now” question. There’s a fear associated with signing on the dotted line – now.

Cynthia’s “why now” seems straightforward. She’s going to have to entertain pretty soon so she needs to get ready. Good decorators fill their calendars quickly. If Cynthia waits too long, she won’t get anyone – period.

(3) Why You?

There are two dimensions to this question.

First, are you the best resource for the client?

And second, will you do more harm than good? Will you show up? Do a good job? Clients know all the horror stories.

Good example: A real estate agent says, “Time is money. I work with busy women who want to have a great home-buying experience.”

How are you the best? How do you stand out from the pack?

What makes you stand out is your Fab Factor- what makes you “fabulous” to your clients?

Many business owners think “standing out” means they’ll have to define themselves as “amazing.” In practice, differentiation comes from understanding how you are truly, genuinely unique.

There are dozens of ways to set yourself apart. For example:

You can be the only game in town who delivers special benefits to a specific niche because you have insider knowledge. A retired medical doctor now coaches physicians and other healers on dealing with stress. A former Human Resource professional now coaches job seekers on writing resumes to get past the HR gatekeepers. A life coach who’s a lifetime horse rider creates an empire by developing equine-based confidence workshops.

Notice how authentic these differences are. You don’t have to struggle to isolate some arbitrary point of difference.

I’ve run across professionals who try to differentiate themselves based on their hair color (“blonde consultant”), height (“shortest consultant”) or even hairstyle (“curly-headed”). Those examples are extreme but many people look for simple, obvious qualities based on looks or personality.

The key is to stand out based on some element of the way you serve your client, not based on some personal trait that’s not relevant to your service delivery.

What are your clients afraid of?

Clients have two kinds of fears.

On the one hand, they fear you won’t be competent to solve the problem, as painlessly and ethically as possible.

Will the doctor be able to make an accurate diagnosis? Will she suggest a solution based on her expectation of rewards from suppliers and pharmaceutical companies, rather than doing what’s best for you? Will she suggest a solution that will be the most risky and expensive, or take your lifestyle into account?

Will your accountant prepare your returns to avoid getting you in trouble with the tax people? Will he suggest some tips for easier filing? Will he suggest ways you can prepare some of your own returns to reduce costs?

On the other hand, clients fear you’ll treat them with something less than complete courtesy. They wonder if you will be prompt, courteous and friendly. They’ll wonder if you’ll be judgmental about their decision and their lifestyles, especially in sensitive situations.

If you’re applying for a job, your employer will also have a lot of fears. Will you show up on time? Will you be able to do the work? Will you fit into the organization or be a problem child? Will you develop personal issues that cause you to be absent – mentally or physically – or leave the company before they’ve recovered their hiring investment?

We rarely hear discussions about these fears, but they are very real.

Why hire THIS decorator instead of another one?

Cynthia’s fears include:
Will you show up?

Will you paint the walls purple with pink polka dots?

Will you put pictures on the wall that would be embarrassing to have in our home?

Will you disrupt the family?

Are you going to be judgmental?

Will you look down on me when you see my current furniture – the same furniture I bought as a graduate student?

Are you going to tell me I have no taste?

To address these fears, you can tell stories about you helped others in this situation – came in under budget, didn’t drive them into debt, didn’t paint the walls a ridiculous color.

Those are the levels you have to reach when you’re dealing with clients. By bragging you actually reassure them – “yes, I can help you!”

Your Client’s Three Levels of Pain

Answer these questions for your ideal client:

Why now: What’s brought the problem to their attention (crisis, deadline)?

Where does it hurt (money, health, love, time)?

Why are you the right resource to address the pain?

Step 2: Focus on the YOU factor.

Frame your brags in terms of your target market. How does your brilliance make your clients shine brighter?

Olivia, a professional chef, ran cooking classes for amateurs. In her marketing, she felt she should emphasize her expertise. After all, she had studied with Julia Child.

Olivia came up with the slogan, “We know our artichokes from our endives.” That’s nice and clever but it doesn’t mean anything to clients who have never encountered an artichoke OR an endive.

How about, “You know how sinful you feel when you’re eating mocha nut ice cream with extra fudge? We know secret ways to make healthy food taste so good you feel sinful as you eat it.”

A husband-and-wife writing coach team proudly posted on their home page, “This book is our proudest achievement.” Does their audience care about their proudest achievement? Only if they’re personal friends or business mentors. Otherwise – no thanks.

How about, “Our book gives you the secret handshake to connect with publishers and editors – the insider secrets to getting your book on the shelves of the top bookstores.”

Confusing pride with promotion isn’t at all uncommon.

A sign on the side of a truck reads, “We are #1 in lumber.”

What does this mean? Do I build a house with their lumber? Rebuild my floors? Is their lumber tougher and sturdier than what’s offered by the competition?

A common example on resumes is, “My objective is a job where I can build my skills in…”

Employers rarely say, “Let’s hire him so I can help him build up his skill set!”

How about, “With my ten years of sales experience, I can help you reach qualified buyers and get them into action.”

“Seeking insurance sales position where I can apply demonstrated revenue generating and team building skills.”

Examples:

(1) Dear Corporate Achiever,

Are thoughts of your performance review keeping you awake every night? Do you shudder every time you review your ratings? Wondering how to respond (or whether you really should)?

You’re not alone. Let’s review…

(2) Are you bored, frustrated and exhausted? Do you desperately want a new career? Facing layoffs, forced retirement or your own midlife crisis?

(3) Calling all career-changers!

Are you ready to lose your misery-making job and move to your dream career — in just 21 Days? Do you ever wish you could put yourself in the hands of an expert to transform your career — the way TV experts remodel a home?

(4) Seeking Insurance Sales position where I can apply demonstrated revenue generation and team-building skills.

(5) Award-winning sales manager seeks to apply proven communication and market analysis skills in a consumer goods Marketing Manager position.

What is the YOU in your example?

Write your opening paragraph or resume summary.

Step 3: Use stories to show so you don’t have to tell.

You’ve probably heard that our brains are hard-wired to respond to narrative. We listen and remember stories. Suppose someone calls and says, “I had a bad day.” You have no idea whether they’re dealing with a broken nail or a broken relationship. You decide it’s best to change the subject.
Suppose your friend Naomi says, “On my way to work I almost got hit by a car. Somehow instead of arguing we just started talking, discovered we had a mutual friend from high school, and exchanged business cards.”

In fact a few days later you might catch yourself saying, “I just heard the strangest story! My friend almost got hit by a car and then the weirdest thing happened…”

In The Water Cooler Effect, author Nicholas Di Fonzo writes that stories are so compelling they not only get remembered, they get transformed. So Naomi’s story might be changed to: “She got hit by a car and on the way to the hospital they discovered that the ambulance attendant was an old friend.”

Of course, Naomi’s story won’t do much for your business. To illustrate your brilliance, ask for success stories. Here’s an abbreviated version of how to do it:

Think of one client who enjoyed working with you – and someone you’d like to clone! You’d like 50 clients like this one.

(1) Where was the client before you were hired? Was their business not growing as fast as they would like? Was their website driving away clients instead of attracting them?

Are they thinking of going back to school?

Just lost their job and aren’t sure where to look for a new one — and the bills are piling up?

Or your consulting client has three department heads who aren’t speaking to each other?

(2) What did you do after you were hired? What did you do that others couldn’t do? And why? What made it effective?

(3) What was the outcome?

Example 1: Logistics consultant.
Ryan specialized in finding ways to cram more inventory into existing warehouse structures, so his clients could save the cost of new construction. At first he didn’t think he did anything unique. But buried in the services section was a statement, “We only come into your business one time.”

After pondering this statement, Ryan added: “I’ve worked in the industry for ten years. So I can get all the information I need in four hours. My competitors take three days.”
Why is this difference important? What’s the outcome?

“Every time you visit a client it’s an interruption, because they have to stop what they’re doing and show you around. They have to delay work that generates revenue. They can’t just turn you loose on the floor.”

Example 2: Organizational behavior consultant.

“I’ve developed a listening process so I can read between the lines of a client’s problem. I often discover a story that previous consultants missed. I address the core problem instead of just hitting the surface.”

(3) What was visibly different after you completed your engagement?

Look for tangible outcomes. Try to dollarize your results, if at all possible. Otherwise look for scores and numbers. “I can do this in 3 hours and not 3 days” is a start but you need to be able to say what happen.

Translate “what happened” to “what made a difference.” For example: “Since my project, the managers can communicate more effectively with one another. They know how to frame questions…”

A good start, but how has communication helped this company’s bottom line? Did they reduce headcount? Take fewer steps to deliver a product? Make fewer costly mistakes?

“My client was able to increase inventory in their warehouse without investing in additional real estate.” That’s important because building a new building is huge.
“My client was able to hold dinner parties with C-level executives as guests. She received many compliments on her home and her children are pleased too.”

“This client had worked with two other consultants in the six months before they called me. It’s been over a year and the conflict has not surfaced in all that time. The department’s gross revenue doubled even when headcount went down.”