Q. “When my application, idea or proposal gets rejected, should my next move be “Ask for feedback?”
A. Here’s one of the few times I’d say, “Never!” Okay. “Hardly ever.” Instead …
When you’re rejected:
(1) Don’t expect logic. Selections can be arbitrary. I’ve seen committees split 50/50 over the top two — and select their third choice to keep the peace.
(2) Develop interview and query skills through reading, networking groups and coaching.
But you can’t become a different person. Will you be truly happy if you hear a “yes?”
(3) Send a very brief thank you note for any unsolicited advice. But resist the temptation to ask for more.
Choose your own independent network of mentors, who will support you completely, with no conflict of interest.
(4) Don’t take rejection personally. Sometimes the real story can’t be disclosed (“the CEO’s sister got the job”) or lies buried in the interviewer’s subconscious (“reminds me of my black sheep brother”).
(5) Keep detailed notes of what you said and what you felt during each interview or meeting.
Did you blurt out an honest answer? Feel sick most of the day? Your intuition may be setting off alarms.
(6) Take a step back. Maybe you’re going after opportunities that don’t fit your talents or skills. Maybe you’re playing in the wrong league (too high – or too low).
(7) Accept empathy from all and advice from few. For solid guidance, you’ll need a friend, consultant or coach who can spend at least one full hour focusing solely on you and your needs.
If you’d like me to be that consultant/coach, click here to see what I offer.