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Today’s New York  TImes raises a good question: Should your life coach have a life? Read the full article here.

At first I thought they meant, “Should the life coach have fun, family, etc.?” but they were referring to the increasing number of 20-something coaches. One 27-year-old coach works with several clients in their fifties.

The article talks about working with someone who’s young enough to be your child. How could a young person have something to help someone who is so much older.

On the plus side, a young person probably has a hip website. Female coaches look great in their online photos. The premise of coaching is that the coach doesn’t function as an advisor, but instead as a sounding board and facilitator. The idea is to help you understand more of your own intuition and wisdom.

On the other hand, I’ve found that coaches often cross that line. Just by asking certain questions ,the coach can direct your thinking along specific paths. Even Thomas Leonard, founder of CoachU and the man who brought coaching into the mainstream, told coaches to feel free to share their views. Many coaches go to their own coaches, who encourage them to view themselves as experts.

Quite honestly, I have trouble with the idea of talking to a 20-something about complexities like divorce, home ownership, frustrations with age discrimination and more. I remember being on a teleseminar with a 30-something coach, several years ago. She downplayed the idea of age discrimination as nonsense. “Think of the wisdom of elders,” she said. I pointed out that elders may have wisdom but few  companies are willing to pay for it.

I also think that certain career paths make more sense for someone under 35. A temporary restaurant job might seem like a lark when you’re 25; at 45 or 55, it’s not the same.

When I work with clients I don’t pretend to be a coach. I’m a consultant. Here’s the difference.

Tom is  a successful 50-something business executive who’s thinking of going back to school to become a teacher. He might talk to a life coach if he’s not sure that’s what he really wants. He might want to explore feelings, emotions and family pressures.

On the other hand, Tom may want to learn more about his options. For instance, he wonders how he can pay for a return to school. He just read about a new program that’s offered online; he wants to know if that’s a realistic option. As a former college professor, I know the ins and outs and sometimes can recommend creative ways to choose a program (and sometimes creative ways to pay for it). Often we can address his questions in a single session with a few follow-up emails. If he brings up issues of fear, I’ll share examples of others who faced similar challenge and suggest ways he can deal with it, based on my experience.

Who’s the best choice for Tom? I don’t know. And I don’t know how he’d feel about working with a young life coach. If he wants a consultant, he needs someone who’s knowledgeable. If he’s building software, a teenager can be a consultant. But if he wants to know about a specific set of choices, he needs to draw on someone’s real experience.

How do you feel? Do you care about the age of your coach?

Job search, like almost everything else, has changed in the 21st century. For instance, you may be wondering, “Is it still correct to use ‘Dear Sir or Madam’ in a cover letter?”  (Actually not..)

This question provides the opening for a provocative article in Business Week. Read the full article here. I’ve added my thoughts in this post.

There are two reasons to avoid outdated search tactics. First, you could be branded as ‘older.” More important, as a new hire of any age, you are supposed to bring a fresh wave to the company. You’re expected to show that you’re up to date on trends and practices.  As this article notes, if you haven’t noticed that ‘Dear Sir or Madam” hasn’t been used in the past 30 years, what else aren’t you noticing?

You might say, “That’s an unfair question.” I would agree. After all, how often do we write letters to anyone, let alone strangers in a business environment? Why would we even notice?

Career change and job search represent critical points in a person’s life for which we are usually unprepared. Other critical points include surgery and buying a home. We just don’t do these things enough to learn how to make wise decisions. And time pressures usually preclude the kind of careful research we would like to undertake.  That is why so many people seek out professional advisors, such as case managers in health care or  career coaches for careers.

Outdated Tactic #1: Your job search doesn’t require special stationery. Often you will send resumes and cover letters via the Internet, where they will be printed out on plain white paper. It’s okay to use a heavier stock than the default option from your neighborhood copy shop. But skip the “nubbly beige or pink or stone-grey resume paper.”

On this point, I agree 100%.

I also recommend getting simple cards printed up with your name and home phone number, so you’ll have something to share at networking meetings. This step is especially crucial if you are unemployed or job-hunting in secret.

The author says it’s a 1980s idea but I suspect you’ll find resume consultants today who are making these recommendations.

Outdated Tactic #2: Quaint cover letter phrases. The author refers to “Creaky Cover Letter Language,” such as “Dear Sir or Madam.”   Instead, find he name of the hiring manager, using LinkedIn, if at all possible. If you are responding to a blind ad, you can omit the salutation altogether. I still see people saying, “Good morning.”

What you don’t want to use: “Dear Hiring Manager…” or “To Whom It May Concern.”

I’d also avoid phrases like “prior to” (instead of “before”). Write the way you speak.

Outdated Tactic #3:  Groveling and begging with an “I will do anything …”   You’re expected to present yourself as a specialist who talks to the hiring manager as an equal. After all, you are arranging a win-win business deal. You aren’t desperate.

The easiest way to avoid this mistake is to make sure you don’t need this particular job. Start your own small business (hey, my dog walker made more than some teachers last year.). Have many irons in the fire. Don’t end your job search until you have a written offer, with a salary and a start date, and you have accepted, in writing.

Outdated Tactic #4:  A Bevy of Bullets. Identify 2-3 accomplishments for your past jobs. Each bullet should represent an accomplishment, written up as “problem, solution, outcome.”  Your resume tells a story in simple, everyday language.

My own comment: If you’re over 16 you don’t have ‘”tasks” or “duties.” You have responsibilities and more important, you’ve created accomplishments.

If you’ve had several jobs, include details in the last two or three job listings. After that, a summary should be enough.

Outdated Tactic #5: Show-off-y research.  You absolutely need to do your research. Sites like ZoomInfo, LinkedIn,  Glassdoor.com, and other company-research sites will give you a leg up on the company. The firm’s own site will tell you what they claim as the official party line.

What’s more important is the way you present your research. Bring up a few points casually. Even though you are on a job search, the idea is to come across like a consultant who may be taking on an engagement. Anything that smacks of seeking brownie points or groveling will lead to a loss of credibility.

What About the X Factor In Your Job Search?

Finally, one comment to the original article pointed out that a lot of hiring is based on personality. A job search strategy may include finding as much as you can about the personality of  the person who will hire you.

Many people are gifted at picking up vibes in situations so they’ll instantly grasp the personality of the interviewer. I’m not sure how much you can learn ahead of time. People sometimes take on different personality traits during an interview, so company insiders won’t be able to give you an accurate perspective.

However, you may be able to research the company’s culture. During the interview, you’ll notice different things.

For example:

Are you invited to meet your future colleagues? One of my own clients called after he had been on a job for a few months. He realized he had made a horrible mistake. Going back, we could see clues. He had been interviewed in a conference room, far from his future colleagues. He met one other manager. Sure enough, when he reported for work, he realized his manager was a control freak and the corporate culture was secretive and tense.

What do YOU think? What are some elements of the culture that should be emphasized in a job search?

What outdated tactics have YOU seen in the workplace?

Answer below. If you don’t see a place to comment, click on the title of this post and you will be taken to a page that allows comments.

Sunday’s New York Times features a section called the Career Couch. Each week a pressing problem is offered for career advice. This week, the question was about handling the difficult situation when your boss adds more tasks to your workload than you have time to do properly. Read the full article here.

Career advice from experts can be summarized as:

(1) Tell your boss the consequences of adding an extra project. Other projects may be delayed. You may need additional help.

(2) Ask for help. For instance, “Maybe we can get someone from accounting to run these numbers.”

(3) Ask your boss to set the priorities. “I’m already working on A. Does B get priority?”

(4) Work long hours if the new product will enhance promotion opportunities within the company or make you more marketable.

(5) Keep your management updated, as often as once a week. That way your management has a realistic sense of your workload.

So … what do you think?

If I were offering career advice to a client, here’s what I might suggest.

First, study your boss’s agenda. Newspapers and magazines like to give the party line. So do consultants and coaches who are being quoted for print (and posterity).

The party line is that your boss means well and has the company interests at heart. The truth? Sometimes your boss wants you to fail. Sometimes your boss is under pressure and passing the pain around. Sometimes your boss honestly doesn’t know because circumstances have changed.

Watch for pushback. For instance, you say to the boss, “The project you assigned will take an extra 20 hours this week.” Your boss says, “No way. When I did that project six months ago, it just took 8 hours.”

These are the kinds of questions I would encourage you to ask – not necessarily out loud but to yourself:

Are you inefficient?
Is the boss factoring in genuine differences, such as your unfamiliarity with the task or a change in circumstances?
Are you valued as someone who can get it all done, on time and error-free?

If you’re getting a series of “no” answers to these questions, you should start seeing red flags. Unreasonable requests can mean that (a) your boss is a clone of Dilbert’s pointy-headed boss; (b) you’re being targeted for bad things to happen; and/or (c) something is very wrong with your company or department.

As always, the best career advice will be, “Study the company’s culture.”

… What do they value? Some companies place a high value on saying “yes” and overworking yourself till you’re sick or dead.
… Who gets rewarded?
… Who else is getting extra work? Are they the winners who go on to great things? Or the losers the bosses feel they can use with impunity?

Finally, you may not have the option to say no. I am not a lawyer. However, in an informal conversation, a lawyer told me that refusing to do work can be grounds for termination. Now, I don’t know if that lawyer was right. I don’t know what circumstances apply. But I would really, really think about saying “no,” especially if something is in your job description. Again, I’m not a lawyer and it is not my intent to give legal advice.

But speaking as a non-lawyer career consultant offering career advice from my experience, I would encourage you to go through the motions and do the best you can, if your boss refuses to let you off the hook. Then you may have to recognize that this career or job is coming to an end. Think of how you can give it a decent burial while moving on to your next life.

If you’d like to get some career advice via one-to-one consulting, you can hire me for a single-shot Career Strategy Session. http://www.midlifecareerstrategy.com/careerstrategysession.html

Today’s New York Times “Social Q’s” column addressed this question:
For the last 7 years, Anonymous had received a “generous cash bonus” from her boss – “in addition to the regular company bonus.” She explains, “I do many personal errands for him during the year.”

This year: no bonus. She wonders why. (I’m assuming the writer is female.)

Philip Galanes, the moderator of Social Q, deals purely with the etiquette issue. He urges her to speak privately with her boss, asking if there was a performance issue.

From an etiquette perspective, Galanes may be correct. From a career planning perspective, you would need a different perspective.

First, doing personal errands for the boss is always a slippery slope. (I’m assuming you’re not a personal assistant, like the main character of Devil Wears Prada.) So are cash bonuses.

If your official job does not call for personal errands, I would suggest drawing the line early.

You can also check your company’s policies on outside work. If you find no conflict, you can start a small concierge business, where you run errands and carry out personal services for money. These services charge $35-$75 an hour. Some charge more for difficult errands.

Yes, you would need a business license and you would pay taxes on your earnings. However, a sharp accountant would help you spot some legal deductions. In fact, if your boss is “a millionaire many times over” (like the one in the column) he will probably find a way to deduct your services from his taxes, all nice and legal.

Once you have this business, you can find other executives to hire you. You might even call on your neighbors. Some concierges will walk dogs and take pets to the veterinarian. Some pick up dry cleaning. Just about all services will shop for groceries and stay home and wait for packages (if you do this, make sure you’re bonded and insured).

You can expand your service on weekends. If you get laid off, you’ll have a business all ready to go.

You’ve probably heard the saying, “Cold hands, warm heart.” It’s a nonsense thing people say when you shake hands and yours are cold.

When it comes to midlife career change, I’d add a comment: “Cold feet = empty wallet.”

After years of working with mid-life professionals and executives seeking a career change (and handling my own career changes along the way), I’ve begun to sense when someone will really change careers and when they just want to talk about it. A big clue is what they say when they call me.

Someone who is committed to finding a new career will ask a few questions and make a decision fast. Usually I hear within a few days. They don’t call back with a list of new questions. They are willing to take a chance. They are ready to take action and follow suggestions that may seem counter-intuitive.

And they don’t wait for me to fire them up. They take initiative beyond what I suggest and keep coming up with new ideas.

Those who are not committed to changing careers will express doubts before we begin. They want to know every detail of the coaching process. They say, “If I work with you, are you sure I will get results?” And they may even say, “I haven’t done anything yet; I was waiting for a coach to tell me what to do.”

To be honest, this advice is somewhat self-serving as the first group is infinitely easier to work with. They’re also more likely to appreciate what I do. They read between the lines of our conversation and they trust their intuition.

However, I can find logical explanations for the success of the first group.

First,  successful career changers realize they’re in free fall. There’s no guarantee of a soft landing, no matter what they do or who they work with.

If you’ve been following me awhile, you know I like to draw a parallel with sports. Corporate career success is like pro football. it’s all about following the rules and being in the right place at the right time. Career change is more like playground basketball. You have to be comfortable playing without rules. If you need referees, lines and tradition, you’ll have trouble here.

Second, many years ago, psychiatrist Alan Wheelis wrote a book called How People Change. He wrote that people who change will do so with or without a therapist. If they depend on the therapy for change, he says, the process will crash under the heavy pressure. A coach, counselor or consultant can help but they help most when you decide you’re going to make things work no matter what.

Are my services right for you? I don’t know. But they’re definitely not right if you want lots of assurance and a gilt-edged guarantee.  No reputable consultant will promise results, let alone guarantee outcomes. Your sessions are like raw material; it’s up to you to decide how they will turnout. You can learn about my services at http://www.MidlifeCareerStrategy.com/services.html

Below is a guest post by Linda Hampton. If you are saying, “There are no jobs out there,” read on!

Did you know that many super successful businesses have been started during economic downturns, including Hyatt, Burger King, IHOP, The Jim Henson Company, Microsoft, and even MTV.  They started on a wing and a prayer with low start up costs, even in the garage of a parent’s home, and are now recognized the world over just by their names.

Aside from these well known businesses, people just like you created solo ventures, finding a new and exciting way to support their families and themselves. They might not be multinational billion dollar corporations but they do quite well supporting their family and their retirement years. Contracting, consulting, and other types of “home businesses” or entrepreneurship have exploded during this last recession just as they have during every other economic downturn we have had in our country.

Many boomers are looking to start a business with low start up costs that they can take their first steps while still working another job orwithout breaking the bank while a  spouse works. Either way, there are so many different ways to use your skills today that there is certainly something that you can start part time and build to a lucrative full time income over time. The trick is to look at what skills you bring to the table now, what skills you may need to learn, and how you can put that all together to come up with a business you can be proud of doing.

With the uncertainty in the economy today boomers want to minimize their financial risk by starting a business they can do from home. Having a home office is no longer considered an unprofessional thing to do. Many people are doing it, successfully, every single day. With the technology available today, and the increase of broadband access and high speed Internet which allows a sole practitioner to outsource to others who are also working from home, there isn’t much you can’t do remotely while appearing to others as a huge corporation with an entire staff at your fingertips.

Opportunities are created by changes in the marketplace, so it’s to your advantage to keep your eyes open to the needs that you can fulfill based on your unique skills and interests.  You can turn these skills into working as a consultant or virtual assistant, or even a coach to help others find their way to starting a business. There are so many ways that you can help people from your home office or kitchen table if you just start looking at what benefits you can offer others. Right now is a great time to do it because many businesses cannot afford to hire you full time, so why not work for four companies 1/4 time each? You’ll likely end up making more money than you do now, as well as feeling more fulfilled. Because, when you are the owner of your business you become the master of your fate.

About the Guest Blogger

Small business expert and author Linda Hampton founder of “Attract Clients Out of Thin Air.” Linda teaches smart, simple ways boomer women can use their skills, knowledge and experience how to attract more clients, create profit-making products and services, make more sales and ultimately live the life they desire and deserve. To learn more about how to Attract Your Ideal Clients sign up for more FREE tips like these, visit her site at: http://clientattractionmentor.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6799303

You tell yourself you need a career change. Maybe you’re forced out by a layoff or your industry has moved in a new direction, where they’re going east and you’re facing west or vice versa. Or maybe you just wake up every day, thinking, “I absolutely DREAD going to work.”

The most common ways I’ve seen clients sabotage their moves are crawling when you need to run, flying when you need to take a bus, and going native when you’re supposed to be a tourist.

Crawling When You Need To Run:

When you’re making a career move, time operates like a 747 flying over the wide expanse of a prairie. You feel like you’re not moving but in fact you’re plunging ahead at 600 mph. If you aren’t aware of your speed, you make mistakes and crash.

Some career changers take charge of their future as soon as they feel a quiet inkling. Others ignore the warning signs till they feel the pain: emotional stress, layoffs or financial loss.

Once you realize time has flown by, it’s easy to panic. You think, “Oh no! I’ve got to make up for the past 6 months (or 2 years … or 5 years) right now.” So you start …

Flying When You Need To Take A Bus:

When you’re feeling under extreme pressure, it’s easy to reach for short cuts and work arounds.

Sometimes that’s a good idea: you turn the corner and unexpectedly find a doorway to your dream.

But flying off (literally or metaphorically) comes with hazards too. I’ve seen frustrated workers move to a small town because they anticipate living cheaply. Or they move to a bigger city, anticipating more opportunities.

Sometimes these moves work miraculously; at other times, you’ve taken 2 steps back instead of 1 leap forward.

Even worse, it’s easy to sign up for one of those expensive programs that promise to find you a job, tell you exactly what you should do with your life, introduce you to prospective employers, or help you get a job overseas. I’m safe in saying, “These services will take your money and leave you stranded at least 99% of the time.”

Going Native:

You know you need time to find your dream career (or at least a job you won’t hate so much). So you take a job to pay the bills. It seems sensible and, frankly, it is.

There’s just one problem.

Temporary day jobs ultimately will drive you nuts and drain your energies. I’ve met so many people who took a job “just to tide me over.”

They were tired after a day of work. So they said, “OK, just today I will relax and watch some television.”

A few months later: “This job isn’t so bad.”

That’s like visiting a country as a tourist or anthropologist. It’s fun to visit so you decide to stay and live like the locals. You may find a new home and never want to leave. But if you do want to return, you’ve got a hard road ahead.

Sometimes you start a day job and realize you’ve stumbled into a career you actually enjoy. I just met a dog-walker who told me, “I make more money now than I did as a teacher. And I had a masters degree.”

Sometimes you enjoy the career while you’re young and energetic. Serving up burgers and fries can feel like a lark … until it doesn’t. Working as an adjunct professor can be challenging … until the years go by with no salary increase and no opportunities when your college faces cutbacks.

It’s all to easy to get detoured by company passions and politics. You get involved with projects that don’t deserve your attention. You turn down a job with breakthrough potential because, “It’s not exactly what I want.”

Almost always, it is better to have a job than not have one. In some ways, it’s harder to manage an interim job. The key is to do just enough to get by. Get known for being friendly and cooperative. And never forget you’re a tourist, not a resident.

Want to assess where you are and get some new ideas? Sign up for a Midlife Career Strategy Session.

In this illustrated extended blog post, author Alison Green debunks myths that many of us have about the work place. Read it here. Ms.Green points out that we should distrust myths like, “Companies are required to be fair and just,” and, “The HR department will help you.”

A company’s HR department, ethics policies and “family friendly” promises may be genuine. Often they’re efforts to convince you that you’re dealing with a gracious, princely organization. In reality it’s a frog and always will be.

The best way to deal with difficult companies is:

1 – Have something going so you’re in a position to walk away from a tense or hostile workplace.

One reason employers get away with so many injustices – and even outright cruelties – is that employees feel chained to the company. If you have a weekend business – even if you’re walking dogs or mowing lawns – you’ll have a cushion to help when things go badly.

2 – Be aware of non-legal concerns that companies have, such as a desire to be viewed favorably by customers and potential employees.

Many years ago a San Francisco newspaper featured a story about age discrimination at I. Magnins. Apparently the store had decided they needed fresh, young faces on the retail floor. Of course many of their customers were in the demographic that the company allegedly attacked. The day after the story appeared, the floors were empty, as customers chose to shop elsewhere.

3 – Always have a Plan B.

I’ve met too many people who were stranded in a small town, with no other employment alternatives handy. I’ve talked to people who took a lower-level job “just to have a job” and then got so comfortable they were unmarketable 5 or 10 years later, when (a) their employer closed down or (b) technology made them obsolete.

4 – Keep building your skills.

If you’re working for a company, it’s hard to disconnect at the end of the day. Therefore it’s a good idea to take classes where you’re in a structured, live learning environment.

5 – Don’t get too comfortable.

Too often I’ve heard people say, “I just lost my job … and we had just bought a big house.” Or, “Well, this job is good. I don’t have to think about the future.”

A job that’s fun in your 30s and 40s can feel like an albatross in your 50s and 60s.
A job that’s enjoyable because of your boss, office, or location will seem intolerable when any of those things change.
You may wake up one day and realize, “I don’t want to do this anymore.”

Of course you want to enjoy luxuries and perks. I recommend consulting with a licensed financial planner to discuss your “what if” scenarios and make plans.

To discuss whether you are dealing with a frog (or have somehow missed the princely elements of your own organization), see http://www.MidlifeCareerStrategy.com/services.html

Recently I’ve seen several job search messages posted on LinkedIn. Often they follow the format:
“Seeking employment in the [city] area where I can use my sociology degree and have an opportunity to grow. I’d like to work in a nonprofit theatre organization but I am open to anything. I was just laid off from a position in …”

That’s a very effective way to begin a dialogue with your career coach when you’re facing a tough job search. But “I’m looking for a job” is not an attention-grabber unless you are in a very specialized network, where demand for your specialty is greater than supply.

(1) Focus on what you can offer your employer.

Here’s where your job search calls for copywriting skills. What are the benefits you offer? How can you translate your talents into benefits?

For example: “If you know of a theater group that needs someone to add energy to their membership drives, please send me the info. I’ve volunteered for theater companies so I know what motivates audience members to join as paying subscribers. I’ve been employed in a company as a data administrator so I can create online systems to manage memberships…”

See the difference? Now you’re focusing on your employer, not you and your job search.

(2) Ask for information, not advice.

For example, you can say, “I am compiling a list of theater companies that hire specialists for membership management.”

Books like What Color Is Your Parachute can be misleading. The truth is, these days people are busy. They just don’t have time to offer free mentoring. If you want advice, you probably have to pay; even university career services often charge alumni.

Anyway, how do you know if you’re getting good advice? Just because someone’s been in business 20 years doesn’t mean they’ll understand what you need to get started in the 21st century.

(3) Get referrals from your networks (and follow through).

When I lived in Seattle, a recent graduate from my own university arrived in town. She began attending networking events. She wanted to work in an art museum, using her art history degree. She asked everyone she knew, “Do you know someone who works at an art museum?” Eventually she got names and contacts and followed through. Today she works in the education department of a museum just outside Seattle – a job she loves.

Why was she successful when so many others were not?

She was well-qualified. She was persistent. And she followed through. She called every single referral. You don’t know which will be The One.

(4) Demonstrate your expertise by answering questions in networks, not by asking them.

Find a LinkedIn group related to nonprofits or even marketing to nonprofits. Begin answering questions. You can hint that you are looking for a job and also post your resume.

(5) Don’t wait to get employed. Start working before your job search is over!

While waiting for employment, keep busy. If you want to work in the nonprofit sector, keep volunteering. Often volunteers become paid employees. If you want to work in the for-profit sector, come up with ways to free lance, even on a small scale.

Don’t worry about the prestige of the job. If you can clean a home efficiently, you can start a company; you may even expand into professional organizing. If you feel comfortable with computers, seek out some opportunities to earn money on the Internet.

If you know how to work with dogs and cats (not to mention their owners), you’ve got a ready income stream. Recently I met a young woman who runs a pet-sitting service. To the horror of her parents, she quit her teaching job because she makes more money as a pet-sitter. She has no more room to offer one-hour walks: her schedule is booked. She has people working for her. Some of her clients want twice a day visits … for their cats.

For a consultation on how you can apply these ideas, see
http://www.midlifecareerstrategy.com/services.html