Relocation Stress: A Couple Moves From NY To Houston
Posted by CathyG in career change, relocation on 05 30th, 2010Today’s New York Times featured an article about a couple who moved from New York to Lubbock, Texas, and finally ended u in New Orleans. The wife began as a trailing spouse and found her way to a new career.
Look up my Report on dealing with the stresses of relocation.
Listen to my comments on the recording below:
read comments (0)Relocation: Are you moving for the right reason?
Posted by CathyG in relocation on 04 28th, 2010Relocation often begins with a desire to be closer to friends and family. According to most research, that’s the number one reason people choose to relocate.
Of course many people also relocate to take advantage of a career opportunity. Often your job has gone away and you feel forced to move to a new residence in another city or state.
Retirement and other life stage changes also motivate relocation. People who retire often want to scale down, find a slower pace or just live near their places of recreation. Moving to be near a golf course or lake? You are not alone.
However, moving is never easy. The decision to move requires considerable thought and research. The result will be due to a large amount of preparation and a not so small amount of luck.
Begin with this question: Is your move a “want to” or a “have to?” In other words, are you moving from a sense of obligation or necessity? Or are you excited about moving because you anticipate being able to do things you’ve always wanted?
Here’s a typical example. My clients often begin a consultation with, “I want to live closer to my family. They need me.”
Typically, these people have always enjoyed time with their families. Therefore, they expect that more time will be even better. They don’t realize that living nearby will change the relationship completely.
When you visit once a year, your time together becomes a special occasion. Your family and friends schedule special trips and events. They arrange time off from work and they take time from their own community and recreational activities.
When you live around the corner, the schedule changes. You realize your favorite brother actually has activities scheduled almost every night of the week. Your friend wants to spend time with her own children.
Tip: Expect to make your own friendships when you move. Everybody helps you move the first few weeks. After that, you are on your own.
More tips on dealing with the stress of moving and settling in: http://www.RelocationStrategy.comReloc
Moving: Some Horror Stories About Relocation
Posted by CathyG in relocation on 03 21st, 2010
Former TV Host Dick Cavett, commenting for the New York Times, reflects on the traumas of moving. He talks about the trauma of watching special possessions get destroyed. In his case, a 100-year-old antique was hacked to “splinters.”
Movers get directions wrong too. He gives a horror story of movers who actually moved people’s furniture of out their new apartment back to their former apartments. Well, all I can say is, never leave movers alone! You have to have a representative.
I would add: Make sure the rep understands what’s involved. Once my appointed representative asked, “Is there room in truck for a few boxes of books?” The driver’s eyes lit up. “You bet!” he said.
What he didn’t tell my friend was, “We charge based on weight, not space.” I had specifically asked my friend to send those boxes via media mail. Understandably, he figured he’d avoid atrip to the post office.
It could have been worse.
For dealing with the psychological aspects of moving, including whether to move at all, visit www.RelocationStrategy.com About
Relocation: Lower Cost of Living May Mean Lower Quality of Life
Posted by CathyG in relocation, retirement on 02 14th, 2010Relocation is one of the greatest stressors that most people experience in the twenty-first century. Often people move specifically to reduce expenses, especially in difficult economic times.
However, as a career consultant, I urge my clients to be very suspicious of cost of living reduction promises. Many people decide
to scale back their expenses by moving to a small town with lower
housing costs. However, there is usually a reason for the lower cost of
living.
“Bob” thought he could establish
his career as a freelance writer by moving to a state with a lower cost
of living. However, his new city did not have a strong public library
and the nearest large bookstore was 100 miles away. He would spend time
and money driving and invest considerable sums in creating his own
private library.
“Christine” planned to retire in a charming mountain town. She found she had to drive 200 miles or more to get medical services, such as appointments with a contact lens specialist who could get her prescription right the first time. She realized if she had serious problems requiring a specialist, she would have to get someone to drive her to a big city hospital or hire an ambulance. Some rural towns don’t even have medical services; residents have to be flown to a facility by air ambulance when they have heart attacks.
These challenges may not bother you at all. Many people live happily in these towns. But do your homework first.
Learn more about relocation at http://www.RelocationStrategy.com
Relocation: Consider the trade-offs
Posted by CathyG in relocation on 02 12th, 2010Relocation has been rated as one of the most stressful experiences anyone can have. It’s up there with widowhood, job loss and serious illness. Your first question should be, “What are my trade-offs?”
You may think you have to move to a new city to be closer to your family, giving up a wonderful job in your current location. Sometimes a well-meaning relative will make this kind of move, only to realize that it’s extremely difficult to find a new job. Worse, the new job may take so much time that you rarely see your family — the reason you made the move in the first place.
When you start looking at trade-offs realistically, you may realize you will come out ahead when you stay in your current location and just budget more frequent trips to the family. For instance, let’s say you spend $400 on plane fare and incidentals each trip. If you visit once a month for a 3-day weekend, you spend about $5000 a year. That seems like a lot…until you realize that a move will cost about $10,000 and you may take a pay cut of another $5,000 a year or so.
For a guide on relocation as a life transition, visit http://www.RelocationStrategy.com and download my comprhensve guide.
Renting an apartment? Get some tips to avoid trouble later.
Posted by CathyG in relocation on 12 28th, 2009A really good source of info on what to look for when renting an apartment – and how to get the info you need. Click here.
Renting often makes sense in a new location, for psychological as well as financial reasons. Download my relocation book here. I think it’s the only guide around that deals with the psychology of moving. Everybody else talks about packing a box.
Can this relocation be saved?
Posted by CathyG in career advice, relocation on 09 20th, 2009Recently I listened to a wonderful call from Christina Merkley, the Shift-It Coach. I highly recommend Christina if you are considering a life change and looking for support and direction. I consult her myself when I want a sounding board although I’m somewhat left-brained. I find many Law of Attraction principles can be explained by mainstream psychological concepts.
Christina has a Soothing Saturday series which I recommend. She has a guest who discusses techniques and ideas that may be helpful. Last week one caller shared this story. I don’t know the caller’s name so I’ll call her “Betty:”
“I used Law of Attraction to support a move from Colorado to California. I was totally convinced the move would happen. But my house didn’t sell and I couldn’t move. Things turned out badly after that.”
I’m no expert in Law of Attraction; in fact, I raise questions about it. But I *am* somewhat of an expert on moving. You can learn more from my book, which originally was published by New Harbinger.
And I hear an undercurrent of doubt. You don’t have to be locked in to a location because your house won’t sell. You may be able to rent for awhile. You may be able to lower the price.
When your move is contingent on selling a house, you are a prisoner to your home. That’s not a good place. These days people are more sensitive to the possibilities. With the recent economic downturn, I’ve seen many Seattle condos converting to rentals because people are terrified they’ll be stuck.
Suppose Betty were my client. From the first day she considered moving, I would say, “First set a goal of selling the house. Deal with the house and then deal with the rest of your move.” I’ve sold two houses very quickly as soon as I decided to move. The first time I didn’t even have a real estate agent – just a sign on the lawn. I ran into a neighbor looking to buy. The second time I wanted to rent my house. A buyer offered me a 25% premium over market value and I never looked back.
If your first step of a new venture is hard, stop and ask why. If you meet resistance, stop and think. A Law of Attraction expert might talk about energetic forces and who knows? Maybe they’re right. Anyway, it’s much more fun to talk about energy and attraction than cognitive psychology or economics.
For example, when I left New Mexico, I had two options. One offered resistance. The other was wide open. I considered moving to Philadelphia. Then someone suggested, “Why not Seattle?” I had trouble finding an apartment in Philadelphia that was dog-friendly. In Seattle I had choices. I ended up in Seattle in a great apartment, with (literally) a little help from my friends. (I keep thinking about buying a place, but I like living downtown and the condos are problematic.) Seattle is totally dog-friendly. They even allow dogs on buses. If my first dog had died a little earlier, or if I’d waited to move, I might have moved to Philadelphia with just two cats and who knows what might have happened?
Career change with relocation: Steps to take
Posted by CathyG in relocation on 08 15th, 2009Considering a relocation as part of your career change? Here are some steps to take first.
– Do as much research as possible before selling or renting your home. Narrow down your selections to lifestyle and type of town, rather than state.
– Take several short trips while you are still working at your current jobs. The travel costs may seem high, but you will make a wiser decision when you’re not under pressure. In the long run you will save far more than you spend. Visit at least three places before making a commitment.
– Investigate job opportunities at your destination city. Your opportunities and options vary depending on your industry and your level. As a rule of thumb, the higher you are in an organization, the more you need to plan ahead.
– If you’re going to seek a job or start your own business, you’ll need to study the local culture. When I lived in a small town in New Mexico, many newcomers were surprised at the formal and informal customs regarding business and jobs. Some enjoyed exciting opportunities; others became frustrated and left, realizing they paid a high price for learning.
– Considering starting a portable career, such as an online business. These days you can’t assume that any career field will bring opportunities; even if jobs are available, local culture will influence working conditions.
– If you’ve saved enough for at least two years of living expenses, and you’d like to travel for a year or so, then consider the time off a sabbatical. You can always decide you won’t come back.
Relocation for Mid-Life Career Change? Don’t call the moving van yet!
Posted by CathyG in job change, mid-life career change, relocation on 08 13th, 2009Mid-life career changers frequently consider relocation as part of their career planning. Sometimes they want to move to be closer to family and they wonder if they can find jobs in a new location. Or they’re experiencing layoffs, industry changes or just general boredom and they want to move to a new place.
Moving can give your career a boost if you plan ahead. In fact, if you are considering a major career change, moving makes a lot of sense. Often it’s easier to reinvent yourself when nobody remembers you, especially if you are making a major shift. For instance, friends who remember you as a buttoned-up corporate executive may have trouble viewing you as a laid-back life coach.
Unfortunately, many people decide to move before they are ready. They get out a map, choose a destination that sounds good on the Internet, and take off. Often they anticipate the biggest expense will be the moving van. In fact, your greatest expense will involve relocating or even moving back if you realize you’ve made a big mistake.
Learn more by downloading this ebook at http://www.RelocaitonStrategy.com
Should you relocate to accept a new job? How to decide
Posted by CathyG in moving, relocation on 01 28th, 2009Nearly every career coaching client negotiates a balancing act between location and career choice. Many people invest more time setting up a moving van than asking themselves, “Can I be happy here?”
One of the most stressful relocation decisions comes when you get an exciting job offer. At first it doesn’t seem like a problem…unless you live in the Midwest and they want you to move to Los Angeles (or vice versa). You wonder if you will find a comfortable home, a place to buy your favorite foods, and even a new friend or two.
The best way to decide is to visit the city on your own, not with a real estate agent or company representative. As you look around, imagine you are an anthropologist studying the local culture. Talk to as many people as possible. Don’t ask for advice.Ask for information and first-person stories.Often you will realize your decision has been made when you hear yourself saying, “Sure, I can handle a two-hour commute,” or, “Of course I can downsize to a 500-square-foot studio apartment for me, my St. Bernard dog, my three cats and my fiance.”
This is not the time to grit your teeth and mutter, “I can do this!” You’re planning a life, not trying to survive the Marine Corps Boot Camp.
After you’ve explored awhile, don’t be surprised if your offer looks different. You may realize you’re getting a great deal. Or you may realize you need to negotiate for a signing bonus. Occasionally you can make your acceptance conditional on finding a place to live.
And now I invite you to learn more about the personal side of moving – because you can’t pack your life into a box. http://www.RelocationStrategy.com
