First Impressions
Posted by CathyG in academic career, career advice, office politics, psychology on 07 15th, 2008Marci Alboher writes in her blog about the book Sway — why we respond to irrational impulses.
Interviewing the authors, she uncovered an important reality: first impressions count.
One described a lawyer who worked hard to impress everyone as a hard worker: first in, last out, few breaks, no personal calls. As time went on, he began taking more breaks and longer lunches . Nobody noticed. His reputation as a hard worker was safe.
That is so true! When I was an academic I was known as a researcher. So I was rarely asked to serve on time-consuming (and time-wasting committees and task forces. I was left alone to do research. I used to joke that I could sit in my office and do my nails and everyone would say, “Don’ t bother her. She’s doing research.”
read comments (0)Self-sabotage: sign of shame or sign of awakening?
Posted by CathyG in promotion, success on 04 13th, 2008I’ve been reading Debbie Ford’s newest book, Why Good People Do Bad Things. Ford argues that self-sabotage occurs when we try to conceal our “bad” selves, i.e., when we feel shame. I’ve reviewed the book here on amazon.
My review is rather long because I was the only reviewer (so far) to withhold a 5-star rating. I kept wondering, “Am I missing something?” I do note that the book’s rank, number of reviewers and number of re-sale copies suggest a less enthusiastic response than Ford received for her earlier books
Ultimately I have to question the book’s premise, which seems to be along the lines of, “Self-destructive behavior originates with shame.” I believe people can sabotage their own career success when they’re just deeply dissatisfied with their own professional path. I have told clients that, in my experience, if you wait too long to leave a job, you may do something to get yourself fired. It would be a stretch to argue that this behavior comes from shame.
In Finding Your Own North Star, Martha Beck gives an example of a woman who blurted out a “bad” answer during a job interview – for a job she really didn’t want. Self-sabotage or self-awareness? Other authors have noted that our body reveals our true feelings and our subconscious mind keeps us from “seeing” things that challenge our wishes. Even Freud (hardly a New Age coach) suggests that forgetting something has a deeper meaning than just, “I didn’t remember.”
Ultimately Ford’s book provides food for thought but also fodder for debate.
Willpower : Myth or reality?
Posted by CathyG in career planning, psychology on 04 6th, 2008Today’s New York Times included an article on willpower, written by two psychologists. You can read it here http://tinyurl.com/3pbwwp
The article, written by 2 reputable researchers, seems to suggest that willpower is like a muscle. As you get used to setting limits for yourself, self-discipline gets easier.
Researchers like to experiment with food. For example, the authors cited a study where some subjects ate radishes and others ate chocolate. The chocolate-eaters did better on simple cognitive tasks afterward, presumably because they still had cognitive reserves left over. The radish-eaters had used up a big chunk of willpower (not to mention chewing energy).
I’m not so sure. For example, we also know that mood influences problem solving. That’s why (I suspect) belief in the Law of Attraction can be so powerful. It doesn’t matter if the universe really sends you good things when you expect them. If you’re feeling strong and positive, you’ll automatically take wiser steps to each your goals as compared to times when you’re feeling weak and negative.
Eating chocolate puts many people in a good mood (including me!). In fact, noted researcher Alice Isen used miniature chocolates to create “good mood” states in her experiments. And let’s not forget the simple sugar rush from eating chocolate.
The authors also noted that military recruits get better at applying willpower as they progress through basic training. They learn discipline, which, they claim gets easier through repetition.
Once again, there’s another explanation. As recruits learn certain skills, subsequent tasks might be easier to achieve. They also get confident and have greater incentive to keep going. In an 11-week Marine Corps boot camp, you’ll feel closer to graduation by the 8th week. You’ll also start getting more respect from the drill instructors (if we can believe those movies on Discovery Channel).
Or take an example closer to home: working out at the gym. I work out 3 to 5 times a week. But it’s not about willpower.
First, I actually enjoy going to the gym. I like chatting with my fellow members and being recognized by the class instructors. Some of the activities — like working the machines — are actually fun. Let’s not talk about push-ups.
Second, even more important, working out becomes self-reinforcing. If you just go to the gym and go through the motions, you’ll get stronger. You’ll look better. You’ll start getting compliments from friends and even total strangers. When you go to a new gym, or a new instructor takes over a class, you’ll be identified as “in shape.”
So after awhile, you’re working out to get rewards…not from willpower.
Hmm…there’s a bag of dark chocolate miniatures in my kitchen cupboard, high on a shelf where I won’t have to see them every day. I’d be tempted to take one but I’m going to the gym in about one hour.
