Career Change With Intuition: Anger means Power
Posted by CathyG in career advice on 04 8th, 2009When you feel lost and confused, it is easy to give your power to anyone who appears on your doorstep — a coach, a counselor, even a good friend or relative. People in transition, who are seeking direction, are especially vulnerable to anyone who offers help. The US government has developed programs to protect newly-bereaved citizens who are vulnerable to claims from funeral services.
Sometimes I meet people who have been laid off or otherwise terminated. They have been sitting on the couch for a long time, trying to decide what to do. They have undertaken introspective life reviews. They may have begun a frantic search for a new career, sending out batches of resumes. Perhaps they called half a dozen friends to commiserate about the evils of the workplace.
After six months or a year, they get a new sense of purpose. They visit a career center, call a couch or check out the services of the Small Business Administration.
Inevitably, when you get off the couch and start moving, you need to learn a new way to walk. Maybe you were a champion networker when you were vice president of Mega-Mega, and now you are a job seeker or a start-up entrepreneur. Maybe you wrote award-winning ads, and now you are faced with selling yourself through a resume.
Starting over is much harder than starting out. Author Martha Beck says that career transition feels like going back to kindergarten. You feel that everybody knows more than you and you really want to go back to the way things were before.
And one day you wake up and realize, “Wait a minute! I know more than I realized!”
You may be angry with those who steered you in the wrong direction — or with yourself for not paying attention.
You may be angry with someone who says, “You can’t do that!” when you know perfectly well you can.
I am not suggesting you lash out at those who offended you, although I think you can ask for reparation if you can demonstrate that someone really harmed you. I am not suggesting that you make decisions while you are angry.
But if you have let your intuition lie dormant or you have responded passively to events around you, anger is a sign that you are getting your power back. You are turning on the juice. Your intuition is beginning to overpower the wet blankets, the poison darts, and the well-meaning-but-misguided mentors.
Some clients are surprised when they feel angry. Some believe that only happiness can signal that a transition is going well.
Sadness, depression and grief can be danger signals. They can paralyze.
Recognize, welcome and manage your anger. You are almost certainly ready to take action and experience your own power once again.
To learn more, check out my ebook on intuition.
read comments (0)5 Mistakes Guaranteed To Kill Your Career
Posted by CathyG in career planning on 11 5th, 2008How big does a mistake have to be to kill your career?
I read a story about a flight attendant who was fired for posting photos of herself striking suggestive poses. She was photographed wearing her official uniform on an empty airliner, clearly identifying her employer. I’ve also read about a hotshot cosultant who sent an email message describing his last date in graphic detail, using his employer’s email account.
Most of us manage to hide the live editions our worst case scenarios. But as a disaster planning exercise, here are my candidates for the Top 10 Dumbest Mistakes Made by the Smartest People.
1. Posting a photo of yourself on the Internet in a pose or costume that might raise eyebrows (not to mention red flags) at the office. Would you post this photo on your desk? Add a framed version to your office wall? Show it to your mother? Once you’ve posted to the Internet, you might as well.
2. Wearing a company uniform (or carrying an emblem of the company or standing outside company HQ) while performing Dumb Mistake #1. It’s like being the black sheep family member.
3. Writing a blog about your company “for therapy” and insisting it’s for you and your friends. Therapy should be private. Blogs are written to be shared with the world.
4. Using the company email to send a personal message. I get dozens of queries every year: “Hi Cathy. I hate my job. Can you help?” All written on their employer’s message system, legally available to their bosses and colleagues.
5. Thinking your boss, the HR department or the recruiter is your friend. Whoever pays their salary is their new best friend. Talk to your recruiter as you would talk to an employer or client. Talk to HR as little as possible.
Career change without career change: Step 2A
Posted by CathyG in career advice on 09 10th, 2008If your career search keeps getting stalled, return to Step 2: Inventory Your Friends. I’ve found people who think they have false beliefs or inner blocks often find themselves moving forward once they restock their friendship shelves.
You’re fighting for your life here. I once knew “Mark,” who was out of work and looking for a job. He was hanging out in a coffee shop or a nearby park, talking to others who were having hard times. He rarely talked to anyone who shared a similar level of professional experience and education.
By sheer luck, Mark fell into a good job. He wasn’t earning as much money as he wanted, but he was paying the bills. More important, he was surrounded by smart, upwardly mobile professionals. He had lunch with them. They took Starbucks breaks together. Occasionally they convened on a weekend for parties.
I watched Mark change so slowly he didn’t realize what was happening. He began to speak of more career options. He dressed differently. He moved more purposefully. He even lost weight without effort.
And after I moved, I found myself changing too. Sadly, I had little in common with some friends, because now I had to work more. Some people just didn’t get it. They vanished from my life. Now it seems everyone I know is on a path to success…and I am too. It’s contagious.
Often you know on some level, “Something is wrong with this picture.” That’s why I often say, “Your own intuition is your best career coach.” To get started with new friends and a clearer sense of what’s going on, click here.
Career change without career change: Step 2b
Posted by CathyG in career advice on 09 7th, 2008How to tell when it’s time to toss outdated inventory and get a shipment of new people in your life:
(1) When you talk to someone, you feel drained afterward.
(2) You seem to have less motivation as the days, weeks and months go by.
(3) You stop seeking ways to grow.
(4) You feel inadequate about your appearance.
(5) You feel more powerless. You find yourself saying, “I can’t…” more often.
(6) You realize you’re not getting out to do new things and meet new people.
(7) You get increasingly frustrated with where you live and/or where you work.
What if these people are also your family? Or if they’re important to your own family? That’s beyond my scope. Time for your own personal equivalent of Dr. Phil.
More bad career advice: Is intuition foolproof?
Posted by CathyG in career advice, career coaching, career planning on 07 6th, 2008I’ve always been suspicious of the “just ask questions” school of career advice.
The idea is, deep down you know the answers to your own questions. You know what you want to do. So a good career coach will “drill down” till she helps you make your own decision.
I don’t agree.
Intuition works off information. The more familiar you are with a situation, the more your intuition kicks in.
There’s a famous story of a firefighter who entered a burning building and ordered everyone out, immediately. Seconds later the roof fell in.
On one level, he “just knew.” On another, he had been through so many fires he was picking up subtle cues that others missed
During a career change, you’re on unfamiliar territory. Intuition may mislead or even shut down.
Sometimes you just need a few pieces of information.
One client wanted to become a trainer or professional speaker. But she was also a single parent to a 12-year-old so she couldn’t travel.
Were there opportunities for trainers in her own city? What I said was, “In my experience, every trainer I’ve ever met has traveled. But I advise you to talk to some professionals in your own city. Maybe the field has changed. Maybe there’s a niche for non-travelers. But you need to get this question answered before moving forward.”
You have to be ready to receive guidance, from a person and from the environment.
You’re probably heard the saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher will arrive.” I’ve found that when I’m really ready to move to a goal, I find the “right” advisors. I pay attention to signals.
That’s why so many people talk about the importance of “mindset” for success. When you really want something, you’ll find support everywhere.
Success is not guaranteed. It’s just more likely to happen.
More on intuition: Teach Your Intuition to Send You a Telegram, Not a Post Card.
“Just one more thing…”
Posted by CathyG in academic career, job search on 05 9th, 2008I once got a call from a life coach looking for a new career. I agreed to talk for 15 minutes at no charge. As we got into the conversation, she mentioned that she was talking to 21 coaches before making up her mind. She followed up our call with a dozen more questions
I could use the business but I said, “If you’re still not sure I suggest you find someone else.”
This strategy of “just one more thing” happens all the time. When you’re on the receiving end, you might consider plotting your own exit strategy.
Insurance companies use “just one more” as a delaying tactic. Before they pay a claim, they want to see just one more piece of paper…one more question to be answered.
When you’re a job candidate, though, it’s hard to interpret what’s going on. Sometimes you need to realize you’re dealing with a company (or a boss) who’s going to be a high-maintenance hassle as long as you’re there. Or you may be walking into a situation that’s not right for you.
In her book, Carly Fiorina writes about her interviews with Hewlett-Packard. To avoid rumors she had to meet recruiters and H-P managers in out of the way places. She agreed to everything, including a psychological evaluation. She may have done a good job for H-P (she points out that her successor just continued her program), but she never fit in and, as just about everyone knows, as ignominiously fired. (No sympathy needed: her severance ran into the millions.)
Another view: One of my acquaintances “Pauline” applied for a humble assistant professor job at a medium size, middle tier university. She kept getting called back for more interviews. The committee peppered her with questions. They even demanded to see her PhD diploma — a very rare move.
Later Pauline learned the committee had been divided right down the middle. Half wanted “Len” and half wanted “Laura.” So they compromised on Pauline. Pauline wasn’t as strong a candidate as either Len or Laura.
But she was happy to take the job. She was limited to a particular location and she had few other options. So she took a chance. And contrary to what you might expect, she went on to a long and satisfying career with her new university. They treated her like royalty. They gave her all sorts of special consideration.
I’d like to find a lesson to learn here, but all I can say is, “Sometimes you get lucky. Or you go with your intuition, disregard the facts, and expect a great outcome.
