When you’re relocating, a checklist can reduce moving stress considerably. In a recent blog post, one author recommended specific items for a checklist.

This article is especially valuable because the author identifies different checklists you need at different stages of the move. I’d add you also need a career planning checklist.

Moving checklist phase 1: Make a master plan. Decide what you will need and what you won’t need. It’s never too early: when you plan ahead, you can sell unwanted items on Craigslist or Amazon, getting cash to offset the investment in your move.

During this phase, round up your important papers and put them in a safe place. You will be asked to show all sorts of identification as well as documents related to your home ownership or lease agreement.

If you are moving for a job, make sure you have a written offer. Get a written clarification of the terms of the offer and of relocation. If your new company pays the move, review exactly what you are being promised. For instance, a relocation signing bonus is not the same as relocation expense reimbursement. These items may be handled differently for tax purposes and may be regulated differently by your new company.

Moving checklist phase 2: Collect phone numbers and URLs. Have a list in one place of the numbers you will need to

– turn on utilities at the new home and turn off utilities in the old home
– change addresses
– be kind to the new resident as well as the environment: Change addresses on all your catalogs (often these changes take up to 3 months to process).

For your job, know exactly where you will go on your first day. Map the directions and if you are driving, it’s not a bad idea to take a test run the day before. It’s easy to make a wrong turn that will cause you to be late on your first day. (I know: I did this once and missed an hour of orientation!)

For additional tips on relocation, visit http://www.RelocationStrategy.com
For career change tips, click here.

When you’re new in a community, it’s easy to experience intense relocation stress because you’re new. You don’t know many people and it’s hard to force yourself to get out and make friends. Here are some guidelines to help.

– Plan your first days, weeks and even months before you leave.

When you’re a newcomer it’s easy to stay home and pack just one more box or decorate another room. It’s even more tempting to stay home and watch just one more basketball game or episode of your favorite show. These activities are deadly for newcomers. Develop a plan for spending your time so you won’t end up miserable and isolated.

You will have gaps in your social calendar at first. Many of us don’t realize that we’ve got a standing dinner invitation with a particular friend or a weekly get-together to watch a football game. We notice the gaps when they are gone.

You will be alone more than before, especially if you are single. Even families report they spend more time together; one couple spoke sadly about being lonely as a “pack of two” during their first six months.

– Keep your work life separate from home.

When you’re new and you don’t know many people, it’s easy to share your feelings with your boss and coworkers. However, when you interact with someone from work, you are always “on.” They want to hear that you are enjoying your new home. They just want to hear the good stuff.

Besides, in a new city, you don’t know how relationships work. Your kind next-door-neighbor may be your boss’s wife’s cousin…or your best customer’s ex-wife. You have to be extremely careful when reaching out for friendship.

– Choose a confidante and sounding board BEFORE you move.

Plan for this separation by choosing a confidante before you move. If you are moving as a family you have a built-in, confidential system, but you can’t take them for granted. Almost inevitably, every family member experiences the move differently: some are ecstatic while others are miserable. Additionally, you can exhaust your family’s goodwill fairly quickly.

Ideally you will choose a close friend or even hire a coach who will be available by phone. If you talk to someone who knew you before you moved, you will get some perspective. They might say things like, “You always complained about the same thing here!” or, “You sound happier than I’ve ever heard you,” or even, “You better get out of there: you sound awful.”

Relocation can be stressful but many people look back on a relocation as the high point of their lives. Often just a small amount of planning can make a huge difference. My Report, Making The Big Move, is just about the only resource that deals with financial, personal and emotional baggage associated with relocation. You can download your copy here: http://www.RelocationStrategy.com

Relocation checklists are available everywhere to help you move your “stuff:” furniture, clothing, and household goods. But it’s hard to find a guide that helps you deal with relocation stress. It’s not just a lot of woo-woo and touchy-feely fluff: relocation stress can have an enormous impact on your health and finances.

First, moving is physically exhausting. The combination of fatigue and stress can be exhausting; your medical advisor can give you specifics about your increased risk for colds, flu and viruses.

Second, many people think the biggest expense of relocation is the moving van. The truth is, you biggest financial risk comes from choosing a destination where you’ll be miserable. When you’re frustrated, it’s easy to make adverse personal and financial decisions. When you’re a mis-fit, you have difficulty connecting with others who can help you achieve your goals.

Worst of all, if you conclude that your move has been a mistake, you face huge expenses as you try to recover. Moving back can require selling a home, breaking a lease, and trying to reclaim a former job or place in a community.

Despite these hazards, surprisingly few resources exist to help you make wise decisions about moving and dealing with the stress of moving from newcomer to resident status.

Here are 3 tips to begin.

1. Identify what you need to create an enjoyable, satisfying life, wherever you are.

Focus on the little things, like being able to eat your favorite foods, watch your favorite movies and shop in stores that carry products you want to use. If you enjoy walking, you’ll be miserable in an environment where you have to drive even a few blocks to get where you’re going.

2. Study your destination’s climate.

People who describe their moves as “miserable” rarely talk about housing prices and taxes. Those factors are important but you can get information about them very easily.

Climate turns out to be very important for a new resident. You might enjoy a snowy winter in Buffalo, a rainy year in Seattle or a scorching summer in Phoenix … but few people are equally happy with all 3 places. If you don’t resonate with the climate you’ll be less active and less engaged with your new community, because you’ll avoid going out. Then you get a self-fulfilling prophecy: you don’t make new friends and you’re miserable.

3. Study your destination’s culture.

Cities, towns and regions differ widely even in the same country. Each location has its own unwritten rules and customs that you violate at your peril. When you make a mistake early in your move, you can be isolated for a long time.

You may not want to assimilate to your new home. Sometimes the culture will conflict with your own values and lifestyle. Even today, a single person can feel like an outsider in a family-oriented town. A town where everybody knows each other since high school days will not be welcoming to a newcomer.

Relocation can be stressful but many people look back on a relocation as the high point of their lives. Often just a small amount of planning can make a huge difference. My Report, Making The Big Move, is just about the only resource that deals with financial, personal and emotional baggage associated with relocation. You can download your copy here: http://www.RelocationStrategy.com

Moving is traumatic and friends can help … or not.

As I’m preparing to move for what seems like the millionth time I can’t help reflecting on how not to help a friend who’s moving. We all know to tiptoe around someone who’s grieving a loss or getting divorced (which might be the same thing). But when people move, all caution goes out the window.

(1) Going away gifts are nice (but not essential). However, be realistic. Give something that’s easy to pack.

When I moved from Atlanta to Alaska many years ago, my colleagues chipped in to buy me … a snow shovel. They all signed it. The moving van had already left and I had to squeeze it into my small car. It was useless for shoveling the Alaskan snow anyway.

The ideal gift: A gift certificate for a store or service in your friend’s destination city. If you know them well, choose an arts event or restaurant. Otherwise choose a store like Macys, a pet store or a bookstore.

(2) Don’t treat your friend like a ghost. In the weeks before they leave, they’re very much present and they need to interact with local people.

(3) Set up a final lunch or party with the whole gang or just yourself – well ahead of time. Don’t call someone three days before they leave to ask, “Hey can we get together for dinner?” By then they’re so frazzled and probably so booked-up your well-intentioned call will backfire.

(4) Say only positive things – unless you really have inside information that will be useful and important. “I think you’re crazy to make this move” is not helpful…unless they haven’t committed to the move and you have really solid grounds to make your claim.

(5) Stay in touch. If you’re the one left behind, you’re most likely to stop corresponding. Your friend will be grateful for notes and “How are you doing” calls.

At the same time, life goes on. Research shows that it’s hard to stay connected once somebody moves. Don’t force a relationship if your friend seems to have moved on. Don’t feel offended if you don’t hear from them after they leave.

From my ebook: Making The Big Move, the Report that helps you deal with relocation stress.

Today’s New York Times featured an article about a couple who moved from New York to Lubbock, Texas, and finally ended u in New Orleans. The wife began as a trailing spouse and found her way to a new career.

Read the article here.

Look up my Report on dealing with the stresses of relocation.

Listen to my comments on the recording below:

Relocation often begins with a desire to be closer to friends and family. According to most research, that’s the number one reason people choose to relocate.

Of course many people also relocate to take advantage of a career opportunity. Often your job has gone away and you feel forced to move to a new residence in another city or state.

Retirement and other life stage changes also motivate relocation. People who retire often want to scale down, find a slower pace or just live near their places of recreation. Moving to be near a golf course or lake? You are not alone.

However, moving is never easy. The decision to move requires considerable thought and research. The result will be due to a large amount of preparation and a not so small amount of luck.

Begin with this question: Is your move a “want to” or a “have to?” In other words, are you moving from a sense of obligation or necessity? Or are you excited about moving because you anticipate being able to do things you’ve always wanted?

Here’s a typical example. My clients often begin a consultation with, “I want to live closer to my family. They need me.”

Typically, these people have always enjoyed time with their families. Therefore, they expect that more time will be even better. They don’t realize that living nearby will change the relationship completely.

When you visit once a year, your time together becomes a special occasion. Your family and friends schedule special trips and events. They arrange time off from work and they take time from their own community and recreational activities.

When you live around the corner, the schedule changes. You realize your favorite brother actually has activities scheduled almost every night of the week. Your friend wants to spend time with her own children.

Tip: Expect to make your own friendships when you move. Everybody helps you move the first few weeks. After that, you are on your own.

More tips on dealing with the stress of moving and settling in: http://www.RelocationStrategy.comReloc

Are you thinking of getting help with your career change or job search? Here are 3 tips based on mistakes I’ve made or watched others make, both as a career coach/consultant and as a client of career coaches.

Tip #1: Get clear on what you need and what you can expect.

Job search takes time and energy. You can hire the greatest coach in the world, but if you work 80 hours a week you just don’t have time to do anything. You need time to network, make phone calls, get information together, rehearse for interviews and a whole lot more.

Often a career coach can speed up your job search. However, if you are an executive, you need more than few weeks to reach success. Changing to a whole new career will most likely take six months to three years. For instant results, invest in a magic wand, not a career coach.

Tip #2: Choose a coach who understands how the career game is played, not who has a wall full of diplomas.

Clients often are confused by titles: career coach? counselor? consultant?

A counselor often has passed courses in counseling and might be licensed in your state. In many states anyone can call himself or herself a counselor. A trained counselor often focuses on test-taking. A counselor with mental health training can be valuable if you have emotional issues associated with work.

Coaches typically are trained in a form of communication that involves dialogue and questions. In contrast, consultants are more likely to give direct advice. However, anyone can call himself or herself a coach or consultant.

If credentials are important to you, ask the prospective coach, “How will your training help you do a better job as you work with me to find a new career?”

My own irreverent view is that the coach’s credentials are less important than his or her knowledge of the real world. Can she read between the lines of a want ad? Can he help you interpret a bizarre interview response?

Tip #3: Free coaching is worth what you pay for it.

Occasionally a new coach will offer free coaching to build a client base. I did this myself but found it was not helpful to me or the client. Clients who seek free coaching tend to differ significantly from those who understand they have to pay.

Coaching from your family and friends may be helpful in terms of helping you assess your strengths. If your mom says, “You always were organized, even as a child,” file that away for future career choices. However, many successful people will lead you astray because they don’t realize the job market has changed and indeed the world has changed.

Never, ever seek career advice from a prospective employer or recruiter. They are not being paid to help you so they will experience a conflict of interest if they honestly want to do what’s best for you.

To learn more about my services, you can go here.

Free ebook and ecourse: Midlife Career Strategy.

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Former TV Host Dick Cavett, commenting for the New York Times, reflects on the traumas of moving. He talks about the trauma of watching special possessions get destroyed. In his case, a 100-year-old antique was hacked to “splinters.”

Movers get directions wrong too. He gives a horror story of movers who actually moved people’s furniture of out their new apartment back to their former apartments. Well, all I can say is, never leave movers alone! You have to have a representative.

I would add: Make sure the rep understands what’s involved. Once my appointed representative asked, “Is there room in truck for a few boxes of books?” The driver’s eyes lit up. “You bet!” he said.

What he didn’t tell my friend was, “We charge based on weight, not space.” I had specifically asked my friend to send those boxes via media mail. Understandably, he figured he’d avoid atrip to the post office.

It could have been worse.

For dealing with the psychological aspects of moving, including whether to move at all, visit www.RelocationStrategy.com About

Relocation is one of the greatest stressors that most people experience in the twenty-first century. Often people move specifically to reduce expenses, especially in difficult economic times.

However, as a career consultant, I urge my clients to be very suspicious of cost of living reduction promises. Many people decide
to scale back their expenses by moving to a small town with lower
housing costs. However, there is usually a reason for the lower cost of
living.

“Bob” thought he could establish
his career as a freelance writer by moving to a state with a lower cost
of living. However, his new city did not have a strong public library
and the nearest large bookstore was 100 miles away. He would spend time
and money driving and invest considerable sums in creating his own
private library.

“Christine”  planned to retire in a charming mountain town. She found she had to drive 200 miles or more to get medical services, such as appointments with a contact lens specialist who could get her prescription right the first time. She realized if she had serious problems requiring a specialist, she  would have to get someone to drive her to a big city hospital or hire an ambulance. Some rural towns don’t even have medical services; residents have to be flown to a facility by air ambulance when they have heart attacks.

These challenges may not bother you at all. Many people live happily in these towns. But do your homework first.

Learn more about relocation at http://www.RelocationStrategy.com

Relocation has been rated as one of the most stressful experiences anyone can have. It’s up there with widowhood, job loss and serious illness. Your first question should be, “What are my trade-offs?”

You may think you have to move to a new city to be closer to your family, giving up a wonderful job in your current location. Sometimes a well-meaning relative will make this kind of move, only to realize that it’s extremely difficult to find a new job. Worse, the new job may take so much time that you rarely see your family — the reason you made the move in the first place.

When you start looking at trade-offs realistically, you may realize you will come out ahead when you stay in your current location and just budget more frequent trips to the family. For instance, let’s say you spend $400 on plane fare and incidentals each trip. If you visit once a month for a 3-day weekend, you spend about $5000 a year. That seems like a lot…until you realize that a move will cost about $10,000 and you may take a pay cut of another $5,000 a year or so.

For a guide on relocation as a life transition, visit http://www.RelocationStrategy.com and download my comprhensve guide.