Don’t overdo your networking, says Kim Thompson of Career Rescue. Don’t think of networking as a numbers game – i.e., attend as many events as possible. You can read the full article here.

Her advice rings true. For instance, networking isn’t just about attending events. It’s about creating meaningful connections so you can build relationships. “Often,” she says, “the good job opportunity comes along when you’re simply having a conversation, with no formal agenda.”

I’ve experienced these results with my own clients. I advise my clients to tell everyone they know about their job search. One client was active in her synagogue. She was surprised to get a referral from someone she knew there, ultimately leading to a job she loved.

Thompson urges networkers to “avoid being pulled into every event just to meet people.” She warns that your energy will be drained if you just keep meeting one person after another. When you meet people in your field, you will feel energized and motivated – if, of course, your field is a good match for your talents and temperament.

What I would add is …

Networking for a job search differs from networking for career change. We can contrast the difference by asking, “How do you look at houses when you’re trying to decide whether to move to a new city? And how does this process differ when you know exactly where you want to live and you want to find the perfect home?”

When you’re exploring a city, a good real estate agent or friend will show you all the neighborhoods in town. After you’ve decided to move and you know more about your own lifestyle, you’ll narrow down your search. Your agent then shows you just half a dozen houses in one or two neighborhoods … and you’re in.

Therefore, when you network for a specific job, keep the numbers down. Choose very focused places. Tell everyone you know: “I’m looking for a job in communications software as a systems developer. That means I am a …”

But if you’re changing careers, I’d do the opposite. Go to LOTS of professional meetings. Avoid telling casual friends and family members; they’ll just be confused and they will probably try to advise you. At this point, you don’t want advice: you want information.

For more information on job search, visit http://www.MidlifeCareerStrategy.com/searchbk.html

and I’m available as a resource when you hire me: http://www.MidlifeCareerStrategy.com/services.html

Career coaches will *always* encourage you to network. (If you meet someone who doesn’t, let me know right away.) I’ve met lots of people who got jobs they had no business getting; they just knew how to network. So the answer to “Should I network?” is probably a firm “yes.”

One element of networking involves joining groups. For many people, that’s a great idea. For others, it’s a time sink.

Here are 3 kinds of groups that may be helpful, whether you are actively searching for a new job or career or want to explore new options.

Before joining or making a commitment, attend several sessions. Expect everyone to be warm and friendly while you are searching. Take a step back and decide if you want to invest your time before making a commitment. It’s easier to say “No thanks” at the beginning than to withdraw once you’ve started.

Job Hunting Groups

Groups such as the Five O’Clock Club are designed explicitly to help members develop job hunting skills and get jobs.

Why they’re good: If you get into a dynamic group, you may get good advice. You might get motivated simply by participating in group interactions.

Why they may not be good: Clients have told me that some groups are frustrating. Members may be very different from you. The quality of advice you get will depend on the group and the leaders.

Affinity Groups

Examples of affinity groups include alumni groups or professional organizations (such as American Society for Training and Development or Association of Women Lawyers).  These groups tend to be very focused. If you’re not a member of the tribe, forget it.

Why they’re good: Typically you’re meeting people who are happy and doing well. They’re often role models and they may have good contacts. They’re not usually job-hunting themselves.

Why they may not be good: Meeting people is a matter of luck. You can volunteer to serve on committees but you will wait awhile to see benefits.

Friendship and Social Groups

Toastmasters, Audobon Society, Kiwanis and similar groups all claim to be focused on having fun and perhaps accomplishing a worthy goal. They specifically deny they exist for networking.

Unlike the affinity groups, they typically accept members from a variety of backgrounds and experience. Sometimes you have to undergo application processes (Toastmasters can feel like a superannuated Boy Scout troop) but at least in theory, anyone can play. Activities are focused on the group’s mission, not on the identities of the members. So if you join Toastmasters, you will spend your time speaking.

Why they’re good: If you hang out awhile, you’ll make strong connections.. People often care for each other and help one another.

Learn more when you download my Career Makeover Guide.

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When I went to my first career workshop, the leader said, “Call strangers. Ask questions. They’re bored and they’d love to help you.”

This strategy was fine until a few million people read the Parachute book. Now executives were fending off eager callers.

With the economy doing a tap dance, it’s time to take a look at some contemporary strategies.

(1) Go virtual.

Link up on Facebook and LinkedIn. But be responsible. Never share anything online that you wouldn’t share with your grandmother, pastor, boss, and most back-stabbing colleague.

When you “friend” someone, make sure you have a legitimate connection. If you don’t have a direct connection, go through an introduction. Recently I was asked to introduce two people on LinkedIn, and it was my pleasure.

(2) Introduce yourself by positioning yourself as a problem-solver.

Some time ago a professionl looking woman told me she worked for Company X. “I’m just a creative director,” she said.

Erase the word “just” from your introduction vocabulary. This woman could have said, “I help clients spread their message in the new media when the traditional solutions don’t work anymore.”

(3) Respect other people’s tme.

I cringe when a well-meaning career advisor says, “People enjoy being interviewed about their careers.”

Well,  I for one am happy to be interviewed…by a reporter or teleseminar leader. These days mentors don’t come free. When you call someone who sells time as a self-employed professional, you won’t get far without an introduction. Otherwise we’d be talking to people 20 hours a week and we wouldn’t be able to do the work you’re interviewing us about.

I would stay away from those stylized elevator speeches. But you can present yourself as a successful professional, even if you’re underemployed, unemployed or feeling you’re not moving fast enough.

That’s the advice from a New York Times article. Networking is harder it seems. Look it up here.

Generally I agree with the main point: networking calls for sales skills. But I wouldn’t encourage anyone to say something like, “I listen well, I can create trust relations with a wide variety of people, I’m capable of translating hard information clearly.” That’s one tip recommended by an interviewee for this article.

If you’re going to give an elevator speech at all (and it’s not always appropriate with everyone you meet), focus on accomplishments. For example, “I tripled the size of my territory in three years.” Or “I am a project manager. I manage teams of thirty people from different departments. In six projects we came in on time and under budget.”

While Facebook has become the stomping ground for solo-preneurs and social young people, LinkedIn remains strictly for business. Read a recent New York Times article about LinkedIn.

The Times article alludes to the edgy balance you have to maintain these days as a corporate executive. On the one hand, these days you’re really working for yourself. You can’t depend on the company to protect you. It’s like being a solo-preneur with just one client: a dangerous position for a business owner.

So using tools like Linkedin and Facebook can help you target a diverse customer base — plan your next move before you need it.

In a recent New York Times article, Damon Darlin advises graduates to save money by skipping the lattes at Starbucks. Make your own coffee, he says. You’ll save about $2000 a year.

To read the article, you have to register (free):
New York Times site

I would tend to agree…except…

Freud famously said, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.”

I would say, “Sometimes a latte is not just a latte. Why are you drinking that latte? Who’s with you?”

Depending on your answer, those $3 drinks may be an investment in your future. For example:

(1)You’re sipping with the stars.

If your industry or company group hangs out at the local coffee shop, you’re not just drinking coffee: you’re gathering intelligence that you can use to advance your career.

Of course, if you get together to gripe and you’re drained by negative energy, gossip and whining, you’re losing a lot more than the price of coffee.

One small town business owner invested over $200 a month in coffee at two espresso hangouts. He was one of the few business owners who came by regularly to chat with the regulars and stay informed. His business was one of the few that demonstrated explosive growth in the downtown area.

(2) You’re forcing yourself to get some work done.

Those who work at home know all too well: sometimes you gotta get out of Dodge. You’re feeling enclosed by four walls. The refrigerator is way too tempting. And frankly, you’re just plain lonely.

Drop the dog into day care and head for Uptown Espresso, Java Joint, Bean City…whatever your locale has to offer. Nurse a drink and work with the wi-fi. Cheaper than renting an office…and if you meet with a client, you deduct the coffee from your taxes (if your accountant approves – I’m not an expert).

Bonus: I’ve met several business owners who made better connections over laptops at Starbucks than at those $50-a-pop networking meetings.

I’ve also spotted corporate executives hiding out in the corner, ducking yet another dreary meeting.

(3)You absolutely, positively hate your job and your latte gives you a break.

When people hate their jobs, I advise them to find something to enjoy, even if it’s just a picture on an office wall. Of course, I also advise them to get proactive about making some change. See
my free article on Ten Things To Do When You Really, Really Hate Your Job.

Sometimes you need to hang on because you need credibility, experience, time in grade, or basic survival funds. Looking forward to that latte may get you through the day and the week…and it’s a lot cheaper than therapy. I’d also recommend that you join a gym: exercise is a natural mood-enhancer.

If you need the prescription version of anti-depressants, you get to discuss the meaning of lattes, cappuccinos and decaf with your therapist. Not me.

And if you choose the coffee shop for the taste, or you get your coffee in takeout containers, then I’m with Darlin, the New York Times writer. You’re not investing in anything: you’re buying coffee.

Career advisors tend to sum up all their advice in one word: “networking.”

Too old? Too big a resume gap? Bypass the hiring process through networking.

Inevitably my clients groan: “Networking? I knew you were going to say that. I hate to network.”

Frankly, I don’t blame them. The realities:

(1) In my experience, people who have strong networking skills will reach any career goals faster than people who don’t.

(2) You need two kinds of networking. You can network for information and network for contacts. Sometimes one evolves into the other: you attend an industry meeting and someone says, “I’ve been looking for someone with your skills. Since you asked…”

(3) Networking for information means asking people in a field, “What do you do? How do you do it?” It’s not about asking, “What would you recommend to someone like me?”

(4) You network for contacts by crystallization: starting with someone you know and moving outward. You find someone who knows someone who…

(5) These days it’s hard to get an appointment with anyone who doesn’t know you. And you almost always have to pay mentors. See
Mentoring for the 21st Century

Forget what you learned thirty years ago, i.e., People are flattered when you ask for information. These days everybody has read the Parachute book and they’re more likely to be annoyed.

When I lived in a small New Mexico town, I had lots of time to work on my business as well as my writing. There wasn’t a lot to do in the evening and certainly networking was not an option in my small town.

Now that I’m in Seattle, I’ve launched a networking campaign. I started tentatively because “you’re supposed to do this.” Being an extravert, I now have to hold back. In fact, I just dropped out of a couple of groups.

My biggest surprise is the impact of networking on my Internet activity. Just being around lots of people changed my energy. My ideas are better. Because I’m in contact with my target market, I pick up their vibes. I wish I weren’t stuck with some things I started in New Mexico: changing a brand and image has turned out to be harder than expected.

In her book The Artists Way, Julia Cameron wrote about the way creativity feeds on being with people. Although readers have become more skeptical about Julia Cameron’s messages (especially if they read her memoir), her ideas are sound. Arists paint each other. Writers talk.

So when a business or career gets stalled, I now recommend getting out and talking to lots of people. Not the boring, dreary, must-have networking, but being around stimulating people and events. Not just shaking hands, but listening to live performances in theatres, concert halls and bookstores. Screens just don’t generate the same energy, even if they’re big.