You’ve probably heard the saying, “Cold hands, warm heart.” It’s a nonsense thing people say when you shake hands and yours are cold.

When it comes to midlife career change, I’d add a comment: “Cold feet = empty wallet.”

After years of working with mid-life professionals and executives seeking a career change (and handling my own career changes along the way), I’ve begun to sense when someone will really change careers and when they just want to talk about it. A big clue is what they say when they call me.

Someone who is committed to finding a new career will ask a few questions and make a decision fast. Usually I hear within a few days. They don’t call back with a list of new questions. They are willing to take a chance. They are ready to take action and follow suggestions that may seem counter-intuitive.

And they don’t wait for me to fire them up. They take initiative beyond what I suggest and keep coming up with new ideas.

Those who are not committed to changing careers will express doubts before we begin. They want to know every detail of the coaching process. They say, “If I work with you, are you sure I will get results?” And they may even say, “I haven’t done anything yet; I was waiting for a coach to tell me what to do.”

To be honest, this advice is somewhat self-serving as the first group is infinitely easier to work with. They’re also more likely to appreciate what I do. They read between the lines of our conversation and they trust their intuition.

However, I can find logical explanations for the success of the first group.

First,  successful career changers realize they’re in free fall. There’s no guarantee of a soft landing, no matter what they do or who they work with.

If you’ve been following me awhile, you know I like to draw a parallel with sports. Corporate career success is like pro football. it’s all about following the rules and being in the right place at the right time. Career change is more like playground basketball. You have to be comfortable playing without rules. If you need referees, lines and tradition, you’ll have trouble here.

Second, many years ago, psychiatrist Alan Wheelis wrote a book called How People Change. He wrote that people who change will do so with or without a therapist. If they depend on the therapy for change, he says, the process will crash under the heavy pressure. A coach, counselor or consultant can help but they help most when you decide you’re going to make things work no matter what.

Are my services right for you? I don’t know. But they’re definitely not right if you want lots of assurance and a gilt-edged guarantee.  No reputable consultant will promise results, let alone guarantee outcomes. Your sessions are like raw material; it’s up to you to decide how they will turnout. You can learn about my services at http://www.MidlifeCareerStrategy.com/services.html

You tell yourself you need a career change. Maybe you’re forced out by a layoff or your industry has moved in a new direction, where they’re going east and you’re facing west or vice versa. Or maybe you just wake up every day, thinking, “I absolutely DREAD going to work.”

The most common ways I’ve seen clients sabotage their moves are crawling when you need to run, flying when you need to take a bus, and going native when you’re supposed to be a tourist.

Crawling When You Need To Run:

When you’re making a career move, time operates like a 747 flying over the wide expanse of a prairie. You feel like you’re not moving but in fact you’re plunging ahead at 600 mph. If you aren’t aware of your speed, you make mistakes and crash.

Some career changers take charge of their future as soon as they feel a quiet inkling. Others ignore the warning signs till they feel the pain: emotional stress, layoffs or financial loss.

Once you realize time has flown by, it’s easy to panic. You think, “Oh no! I’ve got to make up for the past 6 months (or 2 years … or 5 years) right now.” So you start …

Flying When You Need To Take A Bus:

When you’re feeling under extreme pressure, it’s easy to reach for short cuts and work arounds.

Sometimes that’s a good idea: you turn the corner and unexpectedly find a doorway to your dream.

But flying off (literally or metaphorically) comes with hazards too. I’ve seen frustrated workers move to a small town because they anticipate living cheaply. Or they move to a bigger city, anticipating more opportunities.

Sometimes these moves work miraculously; at other times, you’ve taken 2 steps back instead of 1 leap forward.

Even worse, it’s easy to sign up for one of those expensive programs that promise to find you a job, tell you exactly what you should do with your life, introduce you to prospective employers, or help you get a job overseas. I’m safe in saying, “These services will take your money and leave you stranded at least 99% of the time.”

Going Native:

You know you need time to find your dream career (or at least a job you won’t hate so much). So you take a job to pay the bills. It seems sensible and, frankly, it is.

There’s just one problem.

Temporary day jobs ultimately will drive you nuts and drain your energies. I’ve met so many people who took a job “just to tide me over.”

They were tired after a day of work. So they said, “OK, just today I will relax and watch some television.”

A few months later: “This job isn’t so bad.”

That’s like visiting a country as a tourist or anthropologist. It’s fun to visit so you decide to stay and live like the locals. You may find a new home and never want to leave. But if you do want to return, you’ve got a hard road ahead.

Sometimes you start a day job and realize you’ve stumbled into a career you actually enjoy. I just met a dog-walker who told me, “I make more money now than I did as a teacher. And I had a masters degree.”

Sometimes you enjoy the career while you’re young and energetic. Serving up burgers and fries can feel like a lark … until it doesn’t. Working as an adjunct professor can be challenging … until the years go by with no salary increase and no opportunities when your college faces cutbacks.

It’s all to easy to get detoured by company passions and politics. You get involved with projects that don’t deserve your attention. You turn down a job with breakthrough potential because, “It’s not exactly what I want.”

Almost always, it is better to have a job than not have one. In some ways, it’s harder to manage an interim job. The key is to do just enough to get by. Get known for being friendly and cooperative. And never forget you’re a tourist, not a resident.

Want to assess where you are and get some new ideas? Sign up for a Midlife Career Strategy Session.

Yesterday’s New York Times included an article on midlife career change. The guest author is an attorney who “switched” from being a prosecutor, working for the state, to being a defense lawyer in a private law firm. He is quite candid about his reasons: he wanted more money and a better work-life balance.

This type of midlife career switch isn’t really uncommon. I can see the advantage of hiring a former prosecutor as a defense attorney, because she would know how the other side thinks.

The author shared some stories about his friends who made career changes. My favorite quote is:

“A friend of mine went from working in counterintelligence for the military to working in the real estate field. In his last job, he checked government buildings for recording devices and worked long periods alone. As a real estate agent, he shows houses to prospective buyers and constantly interacts with the public.”

It’s helpful to read about career changes, even if they seem far removed from our own. We get a handle on what motivates people to make these changes and we realize that it’s not impossible or far-fetched to dream of a new life. We can also get creative ideas about the kinds of changes that people make. Sometimes they build on what went before and sometimes they seem to be heading in a totally new direction.

If you don’t know anyone who’s been through a career change, and you want an objective sounding board, you may want to consider hiring a coach or consultant. To learn about my career change services, visit http://www.MidlifeCareerStrategy.com/services.html

In the last post we looked at 5 mistakes from an article in Monster.com. Read the original article here.

Tip #6 was,”Don’t Keep Your Dissatisfaction to Yourself or Try to Make the Switch Alone.”

This tip is on the right track. They make a good point: don’t talk to your boss “just yet.” I’d say, keep your boss out of the loop on this one! Be very careful about talking to friends and family. Most of them will put you down and many will say things like, “It’s just a job – what’s the big deal?”

Here’s where a lot of people (including the author of this article) confuse job search with career change. they say, “Friends, family and colleagues need to know what’s going on so they can help you tap into that large percentage of jobs that aren’t advertised.”

That’s true – if you are looking for a new job. But for career change, this step is premature. You need to tap into sources for informational interviews and fact-finding. These days, you need contacts. The halcyon days of the Parachute book are long gone. you won’t find many bored executives who are eager to talk to strangers.

Most people won’t take your call unless you come with a recommendation: “Anne Jones gave me your name.” If possible, get Anne Jones to call ahead so you won’t come as a surprise out of nowhere.

And here’s a key point of etiquette. If Anne says, “I see you’re interested in information technology. I don’t know IT people but I know someone in information science who uses IT in a library. Would you like to talk to her?”

Your answer should be, “Yes – I really would!” Then you absolutely, positively follow up with a call. If Anne’s gone to the trouble to set something up, you need to make those calls, even if you are 99% sure you are not interested. Almost always, if you have a good script for informational interviews, you will get information that will prove useful in unexpected ways.”

Tip #7 reads, “Don’t Go Back to School Unless You’ve Done Some Test-Drives in the New Field.”

Generally I would agree. However, be aware that internships (which I don’t recommend for mid-career executives) and volunteer jobs won’t give you an accurate perspective on life as a paid professional. You can do some rehearsing, shadowing and interviewing.

I would suggest doing a ton of research on programs before investing significant time and money. My report on “Back To School For A Mid-career Transition,” focuses on MBA programs but has advice anyone can use. Get it here.

Tip #8 recommends, “Be Careful When Using Placement Agencies or Search Firms.”

Chances are you won’t find a reputable firm to place you in a new field. Additionally you’ll need to do some research to be sure you’re working with a reputable firm. Getting your resume submitted by the “wrong” firm will block you from employment, no matter what.

Tip #9 is good: “Don’t Expect a Career Counselor to Tell You Which Field to Enter.”

These days you’re more likely to see a career coach or consultant than a counselor. Here the advice is sound: “Career counselors are facilitators, and they’ll follow your lead. They can help ferret out your long-buried dreams and talents, but you’ll have to do the research and the decision making by yourself. Anyone who promises to tell you what to do is dangerous.”

And I echo Tip #10: “Don’t Expect to Switch Overnight.”

These authors say, “A thorough career change usually will take a minimum of six months to pull off, and the time frequently stretches to a year or more.”

A year? More like 3 years! so many of my clients call because a spouse said, “It’s been six months. Haven’t you figured things out by now?”

Not hardly!

I offer services to help but, as we said earlier, don’t expect me to do more than facilitate.
Visit my services page to learn more.

One of the monster.com sites came up with these tips – 5 worst career change mistakes. Read the article here.

Here’s my take on these mistakes (which are actually written up as tips and warnings, but that’s another story):

They advise, “Don’t Look for a Job in Another Field Without Some Intense Introspection.”

Well, I don’t know what “intense introspection” is, but I’ve seen more people make a mistake the other way. Most people get so hung up on navel-gazing that they never get around to searching for info, let alone taking action steps.

Often you don’t realize you need something till you see it … or till it’s gone.

Second, they advise, “Don’t Look for Hot Fields Unless They’re a Good Fit for You.”

That’s actually good advice. They refer to fitting yourself into the right job; I’d add that there’s no such thing as a “hot” field. You can’t believe everything you read in the papers.

Similarly, they advise, “Don’t Go into a Field Because Your Friend Is Doing Well in It.”

That one’s easy: you are not your friend. Even if you have similar profiles, likes, interests, etc., you enter the field at different times with different opportunities.

Fourth, they advise, “Don’t Stick to Possibilities You Already Know About.” VERY true. I get SO frustrated when I work with clients who refuse to explore an idea I suggest to them. Of course the idea may be all wrong for them, but just the act of exploration will change you and introduce you to new possibilities.

However, I don’t recommend self-assessment “exercises” and testing. Have fun with them but let experience be your guide.

Fifth, the article says, “Don’t Let Money Be the Deciding Factor.”

Generally I agree. I’ve found that people who take pay cuts often catch up to their old salaries. They also spend less on things they used to use to relieve their stress – everything from medication to therapy to eating out.

But you have to know yourself. Living on a lower income also causes stress, especially if you have a family. How do you tell your child there’s no money to pay the vet to keep the family dog alive? How do you deal with lower health care quality? Should your kids give up music lessons?

These points are the first five mentioned in the article. i’ll continue this discussion in the next post. To get more ideas on career change, download my FREE guide here.

If you are thinking of changing careers, you’ll probably get advice along these lines.

1 – Review your history. What have you done well? What do you get praised for doing?
2 – What are you passionate about?
3 – What would you do if you won the lottery?

and (my favorite): What do you want your survivors to write on your tombstone? Mine will probably say, “She was more lucky than good.” But that’s another post.

Here’s an alternative approach.

To find your new career, look outside your career. What do you do when you have free time? What do you always make time for?

If you’ve been working a long time at a time-consuming career, you probably don’t have a strong inventory of things you really like. Your challenge is to find things to do beyond work. The first time you do this, you may be challenged and you may make mistakes … well, not mistakes, but you won’t make the best use of your time.

For instance, I was totally caught up in my academic career for many years. I loved research. I usually liked teaching (except when the students told me they should get an “A” because they paid tuition – yes – they really do that). I read mysteries and went to the gym. Sometimes I toured art museums. I went to the ballet.

What’s wrong with that?

Well, except for the gym, my activities didn’t really get me involved. I didn’t “engage,” the hot new buzzword. I didn’t use different parts of my brain. For instance, I was writing all day so what did I do? Take a writing course!

Fast forward a year when I took off from working. I started learning about music and taking pottery classes. Now, when it comes to pottery, nobody’s worse than I am. Years after that first course, my creations still look like something a third grader would turn out. But I’ve learned that working with clay seems to activate certain parts of my brain. I’ve always been un-handy; most of my do-it-yourself projects ended up in splinters. I’m much more confident at using my hands now.

Since then I started taking improv classes. I’m an experienced, capable speaker, but improv is a whole new way of relating to an audience. I’m taking sketch writing which is more about comedy than writing.

So here’s what I’ve concluded. If you’re ready for a career change, look outside your career. Find things to do that force you to engage with your environment in a new way. Include a physical component. Develop a skill that you didn’t have previously. Relate to people who are different from those you work with.

Don’t expect to feel good at first. One of the hazards of these projects is that you’re on a learning curve and it’s not always fun at the beginning. At some point you have to decide if you’re going to stick with it. I recommend at least finishing a course (if you are taking one) or a time commitment you’ve made to yourself. Sometimes you need to give up. I will never “get” cross-country skiing. Ever. That was a smart decision.

But awhile back I was ready to give up on my own pottery class. “I have no talent,” I said. (Nobody disagreed.) “I could be using this time for something else.”

But I kept up because (a) for me, pottery is like therapy but cheaper; and (b) I’d already paid for the course.

Suddenly I got a shift. My pots started looking almost good! I was so thrilled. People noticed. It was like I caught the spark.

The same thing happened with my sketch comedy. My first sketch was SO bad. Nobody even smiled. Everyone gave me that supportive, sympathetic look you don’t need when you’re trying to do something good.

But again the magic happened. We were assigned to rewrite the sketch. I went home and suddenly it hit me: I needed a new twist to transform this piece into something good. I caught fire and next time – it worked. I felt SO good.

Today’s New York Times includes an article on career change to retirement. You can read the full article here.

Here are the article’s suggestions (with my comments):

(1) Talk to a financial planner and see if you can afford to retire.

Frankly, I don’t think it’s easy to plan. Your planner can make projections but can’t account for individual lifestyles.

I have a friend who’s pushing 70, living on $24,000 a year in Philadelphia. She’s single with no family support – not even holiday gifts. She lives in a third floor walkup, mainly because she wants a particular part of town and she has a reliable landlord. Her tastes are simple, but she doesn’t need a car. The city is filled with low-cost and no-cost entertainment. She budgets for meals out and takes taxis more than I do! She volunteers for arts organizations and she’s always busy.

However, I know many people will be totally turned off by my friend’s example. It probably won’t be applicable if you have children and grandchildren. More important, my friend didn’t have a successful executive career up till her retirement. Like many women of her generation, she had trouble using her education and admin skills to create a meaningful career.

I have other friends with a million or more in savings but claim they can’t afford to retire.

(2) Your health could go at any time.

True, but you can take some preventive steps with exercise and diet. I’d say it’s more important to have a health philosophy. What’s important to you?

(3) The biggest retirement challenge isn’t money – it’s mind.

The Times article says:

Traditional retirement may lead to a lack of intellectual engagement, which is crucial for good health, says Gary J. Kennedy, director of geriatric psychiatry at Montefiore Medical Center in New York.

That is SO true. I have met numerous retirees whose brains turned to mush after retirement. It was painful to watch. One wealthy man devoted his energies to building his dream house, working with an architect and construction company. While the house went up he was fully engaged. But then he had nothing to do. He began driving the neighbors bonkers because he’d go visiting and talk on and on about things nobody cared about.

Some people (like my low-income friend) stay alert and engaged through volunteer work. But for many others, volunteer work just doesn’t have the edge.

(4) If you want to stay with your company in a lesser role, start negotiating.

I would add, “Be prepared to be undervalued and overworked.” I don’t recommend this option, except as a way to keep an income going while you plan for something else. You will rarely be taken as seriously as those with full-time jobs. You’ll always be described as “Jim who used to be head of sales…” or “Sally our former marketing director.” You might consider starting your own consulting company (even if you just get a business license and a one-page web site). Let your company know you might be available. If they nibble, it’s on their initiative.

(5) Start saving for a transition to a new career.

From the article:
“Mr. Freedman [Marc Freedman, author of The Big Shift] recommends that you prepare for this later-life transition by saving money while in your 50s for things like additional education or unpaid apprenticeships and internships. “Reinvention sounds very romantic, but it’s also hard,” he says. “So it helps to prepare as much as you can.”

That’s excellent advice. I would support other recommendations, such as assembling your own Board of Advisors. I would recommend talking to many people, not just one or two.

I’m also leery of recommendations for a downsized career. The article refers to a retiree who was also a lover of wood working. He took a job at Home Depot, which he presumably enjoyed. My experience has been different, with myself and my own clients. Moving to a lower-level, lower-stress job can actually backfire.

For more support see

http://www.MidLifeCareerStrategy.com/services.html

Psychologist Jonathan Alpert answers a question about career change.
Read the full article here.

A 30-something man writes that he’s working long hours in a job he doesn’t like. However, he makes really good money so he’s reluctant to quit. He wants to be in a job where he can make a difference. He’s considering a career as a teacher.

Alpert says he should go for it. He makes an excellent point: “The longer you stay in [this job], the greater the dissatisfaction and likelihood of poor behavior driving you out.” I tell my own clients, “If your miserable, you’d better think about doing something; otherwise you will self-sabotage and you will be forced to make a change.”

He’s also right when he emphasizes the need to explore – to find out what new teachers earn and what their days are like.

But I’m not sure I’d agree that he’d be “well received” due to his experience. Teachers at the elementary and high school level are hired based on credentials and education credits, as far as I can tell. These days it’s not easy to get and hold a teaching job. I’m told you often need a contact who can be an intermediary.

I’d also question what’s going on. It’s not always clear what’s wrong when people feel restless or frustrated. Sometimes you think the problem is related to the job and it’s really about your family, home, location or other aspect of your personal life. You may be in the wrong job with the wrong people.

Teaching has a lot of downsides too. Check them out.

Don’t overdo your networking, says Kim Thompson of Career Rescue. Don’t think of networking as a numbers game – i.e., attend as many events as possible. You can read the full article here.

Her advice rings true. For instance, networking isn’t just about attending events. It’s about creating meaningful connections so you can build relationships. “Often,” she says, “the good job opportunity comes along when you’re simply having a conversation, with no formal agenda.”

I’ve experienced these results with my own clients. I advise my clients to tell everyone they know about their job search. One client was active in her synagogue. She was surprised to get a referral from someone she knew there, ultimately leading to a job she loved.

Thompson urges networkers to “avoid being pulled into every event just to meet people.” She warns that your energy will be drained if you just keep meeting one person after another. When you meet people in your field, you will feel energized and motivated – if, of course, your field is a good match for your talents and temperament.

What I would add is …

Networking for a job search differs from networking for career change. We can contrast the difference by asking, “How do you look at houses when you’re trying to decide whether to move to a new city? And how does this process differ when you know exactly where you want to live and you want to find the perfect home?”

When you’re exploring a city, a good real estate agent or friend will show you all the neighborhoods in town. After you’ve decided to move and you know more about your own lifestyle, you’ll narrow down your search. Your agent then shows you just half a dozen houses in one or two neighborhoods … and you’re in.

Therefore, when you network for a specific job, keep the numbers down. Choose very focused places. Tell everyone you know: “I’m looking for a job in communications software as a systems developer. That means I am a …”

But if you’re changing careers, I’d do the opposite. Go to LOTS of professional meetings. Avoid telling casual friends and family members; they’ll just be confused and they will probably try to advise you. At this point, you don’t want advice: you want information.

For more information on job search, visit http://www.MidlifeCareerStrategy.com/searchbk.html

and I’m available as a resource when you hire me: http://www.MidlifeCareerStrategy.com/services.html

“Norman” had been working for 15 years with great success. His mid-life career change came from a decision to move to a new state to be closer to his family, he discovered he would need a certification from an approved university. He found certification programs at a variety of venues, from a community college to a state university to a private school.

When Norman asked for help in evaluating his options, I suggested that he find out how he’d be viewed by prospective employers when he conducted his job search. My hunch was that employers would look first at his experience. At this point, the certificate was just getting his ticket punched. He didn’t need a school with a big name. He could choose the cheapest, fastest option with no loss of opportunities.

“Cynthia” had a successful professional career as a veterinarian. But after ten years she wanted a career that would let her spend evenings and weekends with her family. She considered getting an MBA to seek a corporate job. Harvard? Wharton? Northwestern? Those programs were high on her list.

Cynthia needs to find a way to use her skills to transition into the business world. She might find a pharmaceutical company where she could use her experience to market to veterinarians. She might develop software to help veterinarians keep track of their expenses and income.

Would a Harvard MBA help? Like Norman, she needs to research how she’d be received by prospective employers. I’d suspect she would be evaluated by the question, “What can you bring to the table? How can you contribute immediately?”

Both Norman and Cynthia need to be aware that they cannot forget their experience. When I talk to workers who agree to take a big pay cut and step back to a lesser position, they almost always report more frustration – not less.

On the other hand, if they are starting in a whole new field, they may be advised to take an entry level position. If they do, they need to pick organizations where they can move up quickly, rather than rigid companies that cling to outdated norms and timelines. Experienced workers learn fast and when you are bored, everybody knows it.

Bottom Line: For a career change at mid-life and mid-career, look at the whole picture. Before investing in the top schools with big names and big tuition bills, find out if you can make the same progress with a lower-cost program. You will be surprised: you may be equally challenged in those programs.

Of course, if you have the funds and you want the experience, you have little to lose with an Ivy League degree or a top-rated certificate program. Just be aware that you will respond differently to the program and the opportunities that present themselves when you hold that coveted diploma in your hand.

More? Download my Ebook: Back To School For A Mid-Life Mid-Career MBA.