Confidence comes from taking action and seeing results. You can’t talk yourself into confidence. You can’t hire a coach. But you can’t do just any action: keep pushing yourself in new directions. For instance, I know I can write excellent copy for coaches and consultants. I periodically challenge myself to write copy for new industries. I’ve always been a good speaker, but a few years ago I challenged myself to do standup comedy in clubs. You can’t pay for the confidence level you’ll get from challenging yourself.
Now suppose you’re doing things and getting good results — even rewards — and you still don’t feel confident. You’re doing a great job with your company, keep getting promotions, and constantly dodge recruiters who want to steal you away for the competition. And you still don’t feel confident.
Now you’ve got deeper issues. You might have unfinished business. You need to work with a life coach or therapist.
For instance, someone I’ll call Suzanne had always planned to be a lawyer. She aced her pre-law courses. But in her junior year of college, she felt overwhelmed by the intensity of the other pre-law students and by the process. She became a paralegal instead. She was highly sought after by large firms and earned a really good living — better than some lawyers. She eventually got an MBA and became a corporate executive.
But she never felt good about herself.
In the back of her mind she always felt, “I could have been a lawyer. I might be earning even more. I’d have the professional title.” No matter how well she did, she never felt confident about herself or her career.
If Suzanne wanted to deal with her confidence questions, she could work with a coach or therapist. Sometimes EFT tapping — especially combined with a practitioner — will help. No amount of self-talk will make a change.